Hello, I feel your pain. My life partner of 49 years moved to a memory care facility in June 2025. He had a small stroke during heart valve replacement surgery about 10 years ago and was slowly declining until about 18 months ago when dementia decline accelerated. 3 mg melatonin around 5 pm daily helped the sundowner syndrome a little, but other symptoms developed (confusion, agitation, incontinence, etc.). It’s not Parkinson’s but results are similar.

Sadly, he caught a virus while waiting for me with a mask during my radiation treatment . We both got sick, but he was hospitalized when he developed pneumonia. He was subsequently hospitalized again for fluid in the lungs. He deteriorated tremendously due to infections and extended hospital stays.

My declining health due to cancer treatment left me with no choice. I muster up all the energy I can to spend 4 hours with him each evening, but I know I am losing him. Some days he doesn’t know who I am and talks about me as a third person. I also call him 2x daily to remind him when I will visit him. It breaks my heart. He had to start seroquel for anxiety and agitation.

I didn’t flinch when my cancer was diagnosed in February 2025, but I have shed many tears since June. All I can do is support him and try to have happy simple conversations. There is no good solution but I was fortunate to find a really nice place. He even has an ocean view from his window.

My mom, his mom, my aunt, and my grandmothers and grandfathers all developed dementia before they passed. It’s never easy, but this time is the most painful. We just have to make the best of it and hope that scientific research results in better medical solutions in the future for others.

Keep your chin up. Try to enjoy the small bright moments together. Getting old is not for sissies, but it generally beats the alternative 🥹