Hi @dianefs, and welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect.
Gosh, I am so sorry to read how badly you are feeling.
I am pretty sure having three young kids would be challenging whether you have HCM or not!
Is your cardiologist up-to-date on all things HCM? That is super important.
It is also most important that you take care of yourself first, so you can take care of others.
Like what the flight attendants tell you before taking off in the plane...in case of sudden cabin air pressure drop, air masks will come from the overhead bin. Put yours on first, and then help your child.
You owe it to yourself to get the best care possible...there's only one you!
I am not a doctor, and therefore not qualified to give any medical advice, but I can share that I had a terrible time on beta blockers. For me the fatigue they caused was worse than the symptoms I was having from HOCM.
Have you thought of a second opinion to make sure you are on the right medication for you?
Being tired and feeling like your life is over sounds pretty serious to me and I would encourage you to seek further help. Nobody wants to feel so fatigued with three kids. I bet they have a lot of energy and consume massive amounts of your energy...so there's nothing left at the end of the day.
Check out this link, it has information on locating specialists in your State
https://www.4hcm.org
Do you live near a Center of Excellence (COE)?
Is your doctor trained to treat HCM?