I am going through the exact same experience. My husband , 73, has been diagnosed with MCI and early onset Alzheimer’s. I noticed small changes for a few years and requested his doctor do a cognitive test. He scored 13/30 on the MoCA test. For the past to years he has consistently had the same score.
We were referred to a neurologist who prescribed Aricept and I started him on Membrin as a supplement. This combination seems to help him focus.
The neurologist suggested we see a neuropsychologist but my husband refuses. He will not tell our adult daughters or his trusted friends. Everyone can tell he is not the same person and has cognitive issues. He is not fooling anyone but himself. I have been his shield and taken up more household tasks to keep our lives running smoothly.
My husband had a minimal social life and will not reach out to friends.
In early July, I slipped on the bathroom floor and had to have surgery to reattach my hamstrings to my pelvis. During the entire process I had to explain to the nurses and medical staff that my husband has MCI. I would not let the surgeons discharge me until our daughter arrived. I was not getting a car for two hours with that man.
I am on crutches until mid September. I have to give step by step instructions to my husband for anything that I need. A glass of water request produced a glass of ice. He heats our dinner, then sits down and eats his. I have to constantly remind him that I cannot carry a thing. Yesterday, he brought my meals to the table and then forgot utensils. I just have to keep laughing or ai will cry.
He cannot follow through or stay on task long enough to assist me.
The paranoia came to a head when I told him that in home care was going to come clean once a week. My husband told me that if we were going to have a stranger in the house then he was moving out.
Our youngest laughed and said, “Who is going to fill out the paperwork for you?” Even then he did not realize she knew that he is cognitively compromised.
Our daughters came, each for a week, and live out of town and I am not going to ask them to come back. Once I use up all the food in the fridge and freezer, I will have the in home care aide prep meals for us.
Three things that I suggest is to look into your local aging agencies, use in home care, and read the 36 Hour Day by Nancy Mace, MA and Peter V Rabins, MD,MPH.
My husband cannot drive the grandkids around and I have to queue him every step of the way. He drives independently around town, but that is it.
You are not alone and keep posting on this forum. This disease is not kind to the care givers.