Connect
← Return to I am a very sad caregiver who has posted on this site before…
Discussion
I am a very sad caregiver who has posted on this site before…
Caregivers | Last Active: Sep 21 2:48pm | Replies (60)Comment receiving replies
Please don't be sad, Karen. Sadness, self-pity and bitterness zaps our limited enegry as caregivers.
If you are religious, think of your caregiving as an expression of love and gratitude to God--for all that you have despite all that have been taken away from you). Service to God is our highest calling. Our efforts are not wasted or useless. When things give difficult, think of the person you for whom you are providing care as Christ in disguise--even if he/she is acting like an ungrateful a--hole.
I agree that no one understands what we caregivers go through, except people like the wonderful folks who post on this site. (Don't bother complaining to others. No one likes a pity-party.) Be grateful that you are a part of this family of caring, articulate and thoughtful people. (Vent your frustrations to us.)
Caregiving is challenging. It can reduce us to idiots at times. (I have suffered mini breakdowns. I have misplaced or lost important items: car and house keys, credit cards, my driver's license, and my husband's disabled person's parking permit.)
Learn self-forgiveness and self-care. Adjust your standards for everything (housekeeping, idea of fun and pleasure, etc.). And most importantly, seek and accept outside help.
George's wife
Replies to "Please don't be sad, Karen. Sadness, self-pity and bitterness zaps our limited enegry as caregivers. If..."
Agree. One's faith helps. Brought me through dark times, with my own cancer journey. Mother Teresa's approach to the unfortunate, even despicable person, to regard them as Christ in disguise. As caregivers, we see our loved ones ungrateful.
My new mantra:
Accept, don't expect.
This site helps to know we are not alone. My heart felt Prayers to all.
Thank you for your encouraging words. Sometimes i think I'm cracking up while on a merry go round, grumpy then sad.
Take care
Connect
@georgescraftjr
Thank you for your wonderful response! You put into eloquent words what my journey in caregiving for my father has become! Such good points:
Sadness, bitterness, etc are strength stealers; when it’s hard to serve the care recipient, think of it as serving Christ; unless you live this you aren’t going to get it, so don’t try to explain/vent to others; and my favorite (gave me such a chuckle) “When things get difficult, think of the person you for whom you are providing care as Christ in disguise--even if he/she is acting like an ungrateful a--hole.”. I feel less isolated and alone in this having read all you had to say, and more connected as these are points I have been trying to live and/or have realized too.
Lately I have been worried because I have been less “sharp” (maybe getting up to give meds at four thirty in the morning has something to do with it, plus constant stress?)—and it was a relief to hear you talk about such things. Also, giving ourselves some space to be human rather than super human!
Thank you for taking the time to write. It has made a difference for me today!