She feels very embarrassed of her condition, she’s always been a beautiful woman but she doesn’t feel it now. I remind her that it comes with age and none of it is her fault but she can’t see past embarrassment.

Her condition is complicated, she has a lot of knee and leg problems. No cartilage, torn meniscus in both legs, bowlegged with no surgery, flipped (?) kneecaps, fibromyalgia etc. if you list it she has it. This makes it very complicated for her to move and one of the biggest issues, lose weight. Hence the embarrassment.

My family doesn't try to help her much and when they do it’s just arguing. Nobody understands she physically can’t help herself anymore. I get yelled at for not doing enough but then told to get a job because I’m “at the house all the time”. Complicated. I feel I should also add we have tried to get her a visiting nurse and she is not “qualified” for it. We’ve hired other caregivers for another family member in the past but had some not so good experiences or they can’t do it anymore.

The person id like her to hire is a former cna and cleaner. She would be such a good help and I know she can help me cook for her, the problem is it’s my boyfriend’s mom. She hates that it’s someone so close to me and that she knows personally. She’s an extremely nice woman and I know she wouldn’t mind doing anything especially with pay.

I’m slowly realizing it’s probably going to be impossible to get her help without there being just something wrong. I’m losing it lol.