@tangledpuppet: what an awful experience! Was this an office that specializes in ocular melanoma? If so - and if this is a practice that has come recommended or is associated with favorable reviews for treatment - I'm wondering if perhaps there is a way you can possibly circumvent this way of scheduling an appointment or ask to speak directly to the office manager, at the very least to report the manner in which your call was handled, should you feel so inclined. It's a difficult enough time, made even more so when coming upon situations as you describe.

There is general information about ocular melanoma here: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/eye-melanoma/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20372376 for treatment at Mayo should you be near one of the locations. I'd also recommend looking through or posting under this heading: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/is-anyone-familiar-with-choroidal-melanoma/ to inquire if anyone who has posted there may have any leads for you.

Additionally, for locating providers in your area who may specialize in choroidal melanoma, have you tried contacting EyeMelanoma.org, the American Academy of Ophthalmology (https://www.aao.org/) or the American Society of Retina Specialists (https://www.asrs.org/find-a-specialist). AIM for Melanoma (https://www.aimatmelanoma.org/) may also be able to provide some direction.

Please let me know if any of these leads help in obtaining the second opinion you seek.