A different aspect of the realities of caregiving....when it's over. Just my thoughts because I needed somewhere to say it.

"Eight months today. I miss you so.

It’s not in the little things. Neither is it in the big things. It’s in everything.

Time has not touched the rawness of my wound.

You are still the first thing on my mind in the morning. Your love is the last thing I think about as I fight through the nights’ lonelinesses.

I miss you when I’m sad, because no one was as good at soothing my troubled soul as you. I miss you when I am happy, because you made our good times sparkle. I miss you in your Nightlight Song, passion for our family, Linners, Jumbles, Winstons, and in those things I truly never, ever thought I would.

Goddamnit…how I miss you!

I call you ‘my best half’, but you were always more than half of me. In our youth it was you who forged our way. When I was reticent, you led us to discover the bold paths to our future. In later years it was you who taught me steely courage, indomitable strength, intenseness of beauty, and the rock-solid depths in which our love was rooted. You taught me about pain no one should ever have had to endure, least of all you.

I have come to accept I will miss you all the days of my life.

That alone may well be the most valuable gift you ever shared with me.

True, undying, forever love."