Hello Ann, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I am going to be honest with you, and I am not trying to hurt your feelings. I am a nurse in a psychiatric hospital. When I first started working, I worked on the geriatric unit for 3 years. I loved working with the elderly and still do. The majority of patients there had dementia- frontal lope, temporal lope, Lewy body, alcohol induced, Alzheimer's. Some were as young as 55 years old. Very sad. Most of the patients came from nursing homes because the patient had become combative. Also, some patients come from home, as the family didn't know what to do anymore. You mentioned that you asked your husband to remember to tell you if he needs to go to the bathroom. That is really unrealistic. By the time he tells you, he has probably already gone. There will come a time when he constantly tells you he has to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. Before I became a nurse, my Dad had dementia and my Mom took care of him at home for a few years. They were both in their early 80's. My sister was a RN who worked at the Veterans Hospital; she is a strong woman so she could help with rolling, lifting, changing him, etc. with my Dad when he could no longer walk. They did have a hospital bed- with an air mattress. (I looked online for air mattresses for you- I don't know if your health insurance, Medicare, Medicaid would cover a hospital air mattress. They are $1,000+. There are air mattresses on Amazon.com- the Serta brand for $148 was given a 4 star rating) At this time- I was not a nurse and I was pretty useless as far as lifting as I have a bad back. My Dad ended up in a nursing home a few miles away from where he and Mom lived, and my other sister and I worked for a newspaper right up the street. So, it was convenient for all being right down the road and Mom visited faithfully twice a day. My Dad's brother Jim was also in the same nursing home with dementia. They put them together in the same room, which was nice. They both had lost their ability to talk and walk. It doesn't get better- it gets worse. Eventually, they don't know you. Or, maybe they do deep inside, but can't express it. What I learned as a nurse working in a dementia ward- you have to go into "their" world. Don't tell him that caring for him "is like taking care of a baby". Also, if he can speak and begins talking as if he is younger or a child and saying such things as - My baby is at home all alone; I've got to get home- you have to reassure them that the baby is okay, and is being taken care of by (use a name- some kind of connection that may click with him) They may say that they have to get home because it is late and their mom and dad will be worried about them. (you have to go into that world and reassure him that you called his Mom and she said it was okay if he stayed the night there) Do not try to tell him that his parents are dead, or that their is no baby, etc. I remember being at my Mom's house before Dad went into the nursing home. We were watching TV with the World Trade Center being blown up. My Dad had no clue what was going on. The first we noticed that there was something going on with my Dad was he forgot how to tie a tie. He worked as an Internal Revenue agent for over 30 years and wore a tie everyday to work. The 2nd was that he always did our tax returns every year- and in 1997 there was a problem with the return. He stayed at home until December 2002. In the nursing home, he rarely spoke, but did smile and laugh when I brought my boys in (they were 5 & 8 years old then) and most of the elderly enjoyed seeing the kids. Dad had a few trips to the hospital due to aspiration pneumonia. He eventually lost his ability to swallow, but he was awake- looking at us, and my Mom and sisters and I made the decision to have a feeding tube put in. I don't think he would have wanted it; but my Mom didn't want to let him go. The feeding tube was put in December 2004. One month before he passed away and my Mom was visiting- as she left, my Dad yelled out to her "Dot, I love you!" Dad passed away July 1, 2005. I miss him so much still 11 years later. And, I think him being in the nursing home was the major reason I quit my management job at the newspaper and returned to college to get my nursing degree. But, working with the patients at my hospital gave me such a better understanding of what these poor elderly people are going through. So, you have my story of a daughter watching her Dad slip away more and more each day, as she cries every night for him. And, as a nurse, who sees strangers going through it and understands what a terrible disease it is. You are right with setting a schedule. One other thing I forget to mention is they "sundown" as the sun goes down. They may be pretty good all day, but gets worse at night. Or, they will sleep all day, and stay up all night. God Bless you and your husband! I will keep you in my prayers. Feel free to private message me. Kathy