I am so sorry you are going through this. I have no advice but have had much therapy. The issue of control was explored. My parents were very controlling. My father has major depression and takes an anti depressant but this does not help. My mother is dead but in hindsight I wonder now often if she had anxiety and depression. She never got help for it. Trauma is usually behind all these issues. The reality is all we control is ourselves our actions reactions. Learning this is a daily practice. I do think your daughters situation is causing other people harm