Polly, In 2009, I spent 5 days in ICU with sepsis, dehydration, acute kidney failure, and endstage liver disease, I was in and out of awareness. I was sometimes halfway aware of my surroundings, or activities around me (only if I was moved, or a sudden noise). I have a partial recollection of the people and of the procedures. But I had no context of time.
I as flown to Mayo Clinic and I have a vague recollection of being flown there. I spent 2 more weeks in hospital and for the first few days, I continued to be in and out of awareness.
Several weeks later, I asked my husband, who was with me the entire time, to explain to me what had occurred, I was shocked. So much had occurred that I didn’t even realize. I cried as I learnd how much worry I had caused for my family, and he cried as he told me about it. It was very painful for him to relive it. I kept asking over and over to get the details straight in my mind, because my memory seemed all jumbled and I kept forgetting what he told me. I still have questions like, "When did I get the feeding tube?" We don't now, but it was there when I got to Mayo.
As time passes it will get easier to accept. It is not as big of a concern to me, anymore. The pain has eased, I don't cry when I talk about it, memory gaps are filling in with other things. I also found some peace of mind by reviewing the medical records that wre postd on patient portal.
I know that this must hard for you to explain over and over. You could try writing down some things that happened so that he can see it in writing, that might be helpful. Jot down things ,anything as it comes to mind thoughout, ie - the various doctors, the nurse with the big red glasses, the colors of the room, the view outside the window.....