1. < Just Want to Talk

What is the funniest thing a doctor has ever said to you?

Posted by scottbeammeup @scottbeammeup, 3 days ago

I had a good rapport with my (now retired) General Practitioner. Once, I went to see him for food poisoning. It was campylobacter and he gave me antibiotics. They worked but I got clostridium dificil from the antibiotics and he said I had to take Vancomycin, the antibiotic of last resort.

I asked what happens if it doesn't work? "Well, Scott, then I'm going to have to take you out back and shoot you." He said it so calmly and dryly that I couldn't stop laughing.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

propane | @propane | 3 days ago

My doctor asked me if anyone in my family suffers from mental illness. I said, "No, we all seem to enjoy it."

REPLY
celia16 | @celia16 | 3 days ago

They are pretty funny! I'm trying to recall something.......hmm....

REPLY
Mentor
Sue, Volunteer Mentor | @sueinmn | 3 days ago

My doc of many years also saw my girls. When I was upset during Covid about how strictly they wanted to quarantine me, even keeping us from our grandkids, she said "Just tell A&D that you're still the Mom and they need to listen to you. If they give you any crap, call me and I'll call them!"

REPLY
shmerdloff | @shmerdloff | 3 days ago

I asked my very proper ophthalmologist why he didn't check me for glaucoma with the little puff of air to my eye? He said we haven't done that for a long time, and use more sophisticated testing.
If I want a puff of air, he'll eat Mexican food-it makes him fart.

REPLY
shmerdloff | @shmerdloff | 3 days ago

My long time internist told me my heart was strong, "You can shovel coal." I started singing 16 Tons, and he joined in. Both of us wailing in the examination room.

REPLY
Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | 3 days ago

A [seeming] lifetime ago, I was a racehorse trainer. I used a homemade horse liniment on their legs. And often used it on myself. When a Dr asked me what I was using on my sore back, I told him. He asked if I had started neighing, yet! Silly man!
Ginger

REPLY
captboat | @captboat | 3 days ago

I went to the doctor because my ankle was hurting. The doctor asked me how old I was. I said forty the doctor said “your ankle is wearing out”.

C’mon man!

REPLY
Ray Kemble | @ray666 | 3 days ago

I'm 80. One day my PCP said, "Well, Ray, let's face it. You're getting older." I knew she was only kidding.

REPLY
texasduchess | @texasduchess | 1 day ago

I'm nearsighted and wear either glasses, or contacts unless I'm asleep. I was at the optometrist's getting my annual exam for new glasses and new contacts. It was going to be at least two weeks before the new glasses came in, so while I was there, I asked the doc to realign my old glasses—they were sitting a little crooked and a bit loose so they were sliding down. As he was handling them, he asked me, "Do you wear these on your head?"

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.