He is a very loving and kind person, and is far more active in helping others than I have been. He knows of my plans and doesn't exactly approve, but we'll talk more long before that happens hopefully. I appreciate your feedback @georgette12. It took me awhile to find these pages. For some reason the posts get divided into different groups as far as I can tell.

I think religious beliefs have ruined many a family's opportunities to learn from a LBGTQ child and to grow closer as a result. There are so many negative things in the old testament about how God treated people (even asking a father to sacrifice his daughter) that I have no use for it. Then the new testament was equally cruel in how people were told to treat each other. I just have no belief in religious teachings. So, it was relatively easy for me to understand when I realized that my son was gay that it was something I needed to learn more about. Even then, I was brought up in Missouri and was very religious in my youth, so I had all the prejudices of the church in me somewhere. I had to let go of all the old teachings, and accept new learning and information about being gay. I took a class at UC Berkeley and joined a PFLAG (Parents for Lesbian and Gays) group, where I learned first hand the nature of families when they discover their child, or children are gay or ledbian. I'm sure the group has expanded to include transgender people too now. I hope you can make a difference in your adopted nephew's life. They grow so desparate for acceptance that they sometimes take drastic measures. Thanks again @georgette12. GailB

@gailb

Thank you for your input. You're perceptive and caring toward those of us who are in this group - and probably in other groups we intersect in. (I'm glad the dangling participle has been approved, though I have always tried to reword sentences so the participle was in its correct place, not dangling off the end.)

The subjects of religion and sexuality have been a source of intense debate. Actually, I don't think "debate" is the best choice of word, as the religious and gay communities seldom debate. More like which side attacks the other most effectively, doing the most damage.

This isn't the forum in which to have that particular discussion, and I don't know if Mayo has a forum. But I think we all know that the discussion is raging, especially in the Western culture.

There IS a point where the two intersect that brings them both to our mental health group - really, quite a number of points that might show up here.

I've read in numerous places that the suicide rate is higher in the LGBTQ segment of our society, as is the need for mental health assistance. That's a statistic that should unite us in action to change those numbers. I can't speak to all religions, but I do have significant personal history in Christianity. Even narrowing it down to specific denominations, there's great dispute. It really doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong. What matters is that high rates of suicide and depression within the gay population is unacceptable. Those numbers aren't going to change with anger, hatred, intolerance or pride.

Growing up in a Christian family certainly doesn't guarantee that we will all become perfectly balanced adults. Christians aren't exempt from mental illness, emotional instability, personality disorders, suicidal ideation, etc. Nor do we have all the answers. I could write at length about how imperfect I am, and how the issues I just listed have affected my own life, deeply. So many things have an effect on our personal mental wellness, regardless our belief system.

Aside from the fact that the mantle clock just told me it's time for bed, I don't want to bore any of you with the sordid details of my life. I'll leave it at, though I grew up in a Christian family, and was a minister for 40 years, I don't feel qualified to make judgment calls. We aren't in Heaven yet, none of us is perfect, so in the meantime, the thing to do is to love even an enemy, not putting labels on each other.

I'm now climbing down off my soapbox and going to bed. Love, grace and peace to all.

Jim

Oops. That's a dangling preposition, not participle.

Jim

@jimhd Thank you, Jim, for those well written and thoughtful words! Teresa

@gailb I missed the beginning of this chain, but I see the gist of it. You speak of plans and despite going back and trying to figure out what you were referring to, I could not.
I'm really sorry to hear about your negative feelings toward Christianity. I am 69 and have had gay friends since my late teens and never thought anything of it. In the teaching classes prior to my son's confirmation a bishop spoke and did a Q&A session. When he was asked something about homosexuality he responded that the Catholic church does believe that God made people that way, it is not a choice. My hair dresser recently married his same sex partner. His husband is a music director in a Catholic church.
I live in the Northeast. Perhaps things are more liberal here due to the preponderance of colleges and universities which do influence the overall thinking I think.
What I am trying to say is to not classify everyone in the same way about this anymore than you would classify everyone who is a certain nationality, gender, or race in the same way. You unfortunately have come across things that have turned you away but perhaps you should take a second look.
JK

Thanks for your thoughts on my previous post. I did not turn away from Christianity due to my son's being gay. I decided in my early 20's that religion didn't make any sense to me. I have learned more as I have matured, and religions still don't make sense to me. I would say I am "spiritual" in that I am guided by my internal self when I make decisions, etc. However, I don't believe in "ghosts" or invisible things being the cause of or for anything. That's just my own belief, and I don't ask anyone else to believe in or reject anything I say or believe. Nor do I want to be "convinced" or asked to reconsider my choices. I am 68 years old, and I know who I am and what I have chosen, and I am happy with it. Gail B.

@gailb, in the end that's what matters, that we are happy with our choices. I did not mean to offend you but I misinterpreted your message and thought your turning away had something to do with you feeling that Christianity was unwelcoming to homosexual people. I realize that is true in some Christian sects and a friend of my daughter's whose parents are very religious but in a religion that apparently thinks sexual choices are a decision, have disowned their daughter and will not even attend her forthcoming wedding. I will never undestand this.
JK