Good morning, Barb

You've got me thinking. When I posted my "Looking forward" topic, it was because in my morning scribblings that day I was thinking about the emotional toll that PN exacts, damage to anticipation being one. This morning, for reasons unknown, my mind was dwelling on the word "purpose." I found myself asking the question –– and it can be a killer question (it is for me) –– "What is my 'purpose'?" I was having a difficult time coming up with a good answer, an answer I'd consider spirit-satisfying. I used to be able to answer that question by saying things like, "Oh, it's to learn my lines so I can give the audience a good show" or "Reorganize your plans for next month so that my partner and I can take that long trip we've been wanting to take" or "Set aside time this afternoon to visit or phone friends so I can be the 'good friend' I want to be." But what is my purpose these days? My life-with-PN days? It's "Don't be late for your appointment with Dr. G." and "Take all of your pills, even the ones that leave a nasty aftertaste" and "When you do your at-home leg-strengthening exercises, this time give-it-your-all!" All super-important purposes, no quarrel. But is that my overarching purpose now that I have PN? To be a medical aficionado? Nothing else? I find that terribly deflating. So, in finishing up this morning's scribbling I ended saying, "There's your purpose, Ray: it's to rebuild a purpose, a greater purpose than just doctors' appointments and leg raises. I was once more than that, and –– are you listening, PN? –– I will be again.

OK, climb back down from the soapbox, Ray. 🙂

Cheers to us all!
Ray )@ray666)