Any caregivers gaining weight?

Posted by denise96 @denise96, Dec 20, 2024

My husband is very ill with stage iv lung cancer and he has had advanced COPD. Everyday since his terminal diagnoses, I find myself wanting to eat. I have gained 5 pounds in 3 months. I am not sure if it is depression or nerves or both. Being a caregiver does play on your nerves. Anyone else have this problem?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers Support Group.

Could I get some input in this? I’m trying to understand how someone can continue to eat a lot of food to the point of gaining weight, while at the same time constantly complaining of pain and sickness. This person constantly complains of severe pain and feeling sick, yet keeps eating. How can you eat if very nauseous? This person has been diagnosed with vitamin deficiencies, for which she refuses to treat. And, her diet is very poor. How do you respond to someone like that? She us healthy in all other ways, except for age related arthritis.

REPLY
Profile picture for celia16 @celia16

Could I get some input in this? I’m trying to understand how someone can continue to eat a lot of food to the point of gaining weight, while at the same time constantly complaining of pain and sickness. This person constantly complains of severe pain and feeling sick, yet keeps eating. How can you eat if very nauseous? This person has been diagnosed with vitamin deficiencies, for which she refuses to treat. And, her diet is very poor. How do you respond to someone like that? She us healthy in all other ways, except for age related arthritis.

Jump to this post

You can encourage her to take part in a group therapy/physical activity for her issues. It is up to her to take part, though.

REPLY
Profile picture for royce @royce

You can encourage her to take part in a group therapy/physical activity for her issues. It is up to her to take part, though.

Jump to this post

I’ve suggested talk therapy, but she refuses.

REPLY
Profile picture for minniem @minniem

Definitely- I am a stress eater. But please do what you can to stop now at 5 lbs. I have gained 25 lbs- you do not want to do that.

Jump to this post

Definitely, but I don’t know how much because to get on the scale would be even more depressing. I tried the compound pharmacy injections, but had a wretched reaction so that isn’t an option. I have medically controlled chronic depression (it’s rampant in my Mother's side of the family). I am a stress eater. And, like most caregivers, it’s a real struggle to get to the gym and to take care of myself on a daily basis. I was trying to put weight back on my husband, who has Lewy Body Dementia, and he gained enough, but the dog and I went into overdrive.
I like the deflated basketball image. Thank all of you for encouragement and kindness.

REPLY

I remember a medical person one time explaining some brain chemistry about eating under stress.
The brain releases serotonin when we do something that makes us feel good and eating carbs it will do the same thing. So, perhaps your brain is trying to get the serotonin levels up by triggering hunger (even if it’s not a real physical hunger) to cope. As you can tell, I am not in the medical field!
Peace, Cheryl

REPLY

I don’t know how much I’ve gained- I won’t step on a scale- but I 100% feel it- clothes tighter, bra digging in, belly is big. For me I think it’s a LOT of adrenaline/cortisol/stress- that definetly makes you gain. Plus a lot of sitting around in hospital, and when I can “relax” I just feel the need to sleep and rest. Plus eating out more due to hospitalizations or just on the go. People tell me to “take care of yourself”- walk off the stress etc. that’s just not me- I need to just lay down and relax and get sleep…. Order out because it’s easy… I just need things calm and easy where I can. And that ok.

REPLY
Profile picture for sophie100 @sophie100

I don’t know how much I’ve gained- I won’t step on a scale- but I 100% feel it- clothes tighter, bra digging in, belly is big. For me I think it’s a LOT of adrenaline/cortisol/stress- that definetly makes you gain. Plus a lot of sitting around in hospital, and when I can “relax” I just feel the need to sleep and rest. Plus eating out more due to hospitalizations or just on the go. People tell me to “take care of yourself”- walk off the stress etc. that’s just not me- I need to just lay down and relax and get sleep…. Order out because it’s easy… I just need things calm and easy where I can. And that ok.

Jump to this post

I know the feeling. After a hospital appointment, the day is over for us. Especially when you wait for two hours to be seen.

REPLY
Profile picture for sophie100 @sophie100

I don’t know how much I’ve gained- I won’t step on a scale- but I 100% feel it- clothes tighter, bra digging in, belly is big. For me I think it’s a LOT of adrenaline/cortisol/stress- that definetly makes you gain. Plus a lot of sitting around in hospital, and when I can “relax” I just feel the need to sleep and rest. Plus eating out more due to hospitalizations or just on the go. People tell me to “take care of yourself”- walk off the stress etc. that’s just not me- I need to just lay down and relax and get sleep…. Order out because it’s easy… I just need things calm and easy where I can. And that ok.

Jump to this post

@sophie100

I completely agree. Plus, my dad has many doc appointments—same idea. And I have found that with all the stress and the inability to go out and do things, eating something comforting has at times become an issue for me (so I try to just not buy the things that will be too tempting for me!).

REPLY
Profile picture for sophie100 @sophie100

I don’t know how much I’ve gained- I won’t step on a scale- but I 100% feel it- clothes tighter, bra digging in, belly is big. For me I think it’s a LOT of adrenaline/cortisol/stress- that definetly makes you gain. Plus a lot of sitting around in hospital, and when I can “relax” I just feel the need to sleep and rest. Plus eating out more due to hospitalizations or just on the go. People tell me to “take care of yourself”- walk off the stress etc. that’s just not me- I need to just lay down and relax and get sleep…. Order out because it’s easy… I just need things calm and easy where I can. And that ok.

Jump to this post

You just described my life. Going for a walk means leaving DH alone which is not an option. The 2 afternoons I have help here are spent running errands i can't do the rest of the week. And yes, free moments are spent napping and eating because we get little sleep at night and my body wants fuel. Plenty of suggestions offered but just not always feasible. One day at a time, here.

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.