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How do you, as a parent, deal with the anger? Son has sarcoma
Caregivers | Last Active: 1 day ago | Replies (29)Comment receiving replies
Mom here- my son is 19 and has synovial sarcoma. Oddly I have no anger. I don’t know why, and I certainly don’t want to minimize your anger. But for me, two things happened- first just a massive adrenaline kick and jumped into “go mode”. It kept me in action mode rather than feeling. And, second, I also think the lack of anger is from seeing my stepfather - diagnosed 20 years ago with a rare cancer and given a 1% chance of survival of 1 year. He went to an amazing cancer center and He’s with us 20 years later. I know that will not be the case for everyone, but I’m determined to ensure my son gets the best care and doctors- and then trust that beyond that, it is out of my hands. It’s all we can do- and hope for the best. It is possible. That said, we also purposefully did not get a prognosis for him- I read enough to sink real fast, and thenjust shut off computer and walked away. We Hope for the best. But accept the worst could happen. Cancer treatments can change drastically in a short time. Hugs to you all.
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I want to add- that although I don’t have anger about his cancer- it is no freaking walk in the park. I’m exhausted. Emotionally this is so hard on him- and to see him sick or emotionally down is incredibly hard. I can put these doctors in front of him and they can diagnose and treat at the cellular level- but how can I care for the emotional side of him? He already struggles with some emotional issues. And His bad days are ours. But sometimes, I do admit I’m mad at him. I hate to say that. He’s at the rough age of 19 and I have to let him make some choices. And that’s hard when I don’t agree (stopping a cycle short because he’s sick, or refusing something). I want him to fight through brutal sickness- and sometimes he can’t. That’s hard. And it all freaking sucks- brutally. But I guess I try to carry him when he can’t. Guide him to good choices but respect he’s the one going through it all. So Let him decide some things too. And when days are good- I melt and rest. No time for anger about cancer- it’s here -and it’s real, and it’s a bad one. i just feel the roller coaster of it all. Im also determined to have good family time mixed in. To make either a crappy situation tolerable and memorable, or create memories if the worst happens. None of its easy- just so many emotions- the one and only thing I can chose to hold on to is hope- while accepting the reality too.