@brumasterj While I sure cannot answer your questions about what to do, I believe that you are putting yourself in the very best hands in the world. You will be on the other side of this very soon, and I am really hoping you will come back here to share how everything goes. My surgery is in 32 days, and I am experiencing many of your same thoughts. I have asked my family to keep a journal of what I am going through each day from their perspective. They think I am crazy, but when I get to the other side of it, I want to know what happened because I won’t remember or have been aware! One finds strength as they realize what they got through. I believe you are going to be so thankful you did this! I also believe everything you are going through is normal.