1. < Depression & Anxiety

Severe Health Anxiety

Posted by starbryte @starbryte, Apr 23 1:39pm

Hello everyone,
New here. A little nervous and scared, but here we go, long story short, I just turned 49 a few weeks ago.

I’ve dealt with anxiety and panic attacks for as long as I’ve been alive – or so it seems – I remember being in kindergarten and having anxiety so bad.

it got to the point that I started misbehaving in school so I would not have to be in a classroom and face being called on to answer questions, or give reports, or do something on the chalkboard, etc.

Start of pandemic, I started having the first symptoms of high blood pressure.
The beginning of the pandemic was the worst time to start having symptoms of anything.

Of course I was blown off and told I was just “anxious“ until I arrived one day, bright red, dizzy, heart pounding in my ear, and my top number was over 160 and my bottom number was over 100. Can’t remember the exact number.

Needless to say, they gave me a pill on the spot, wrote me a prescription, and kept me there for nearly 2 hours to monitor me.

I became obsessed with taking my blood pressure at home.

But the cuffs were often inaccurate, or I was inaccurate with how I used them.
Probably a little bit of both TBH.

Now Whenever I see a blood pressure cuff I immediately freak out.
As they are taking the reading, I pray that everything will come out normal. I even make bargains “please God if you let this be normal I won’t do XYZABC.” Etc.

I don’t even want a bp machine in my house because I will became obsessive.

now that I’m older, this has created an obsession with trying to diagnose every ache & pain. thinking that I can find something early enough so I can prevent passing away from it for as long as possible.

This has made me hypersensitive to every sensation in my body & I become very obsessed with anything that is wrong with me. Just waiting for worst case scenarios.
I try to be proactive to the point that it’s not very healthy.

Sometimes aches and pains are just that.

Even though I can see the logic and the flaws, at the moment, it’s an all consuming fear and anxiety.

I don’t even know what I’m asking here lol

I guess I’m just trying to share how I’m feeling and seeing if anybody Can relate to this in anyway

and what you all do when this type of anxiety comes up and is mighty close to overwhelming you

If you made it this far, thank you so much. I really appreciate you
☀️

* I’ve been on various psychiatric drugs throughout my life, I currently have a 0.5 mg script for Klonopin to use “as needed” and Lamictal and Lexapro, but my doctor wants me to get something different. That is a little more friendly to blood pressure.
So we are reevaluating all of the medication stuff.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

diverdown1 | @diverdown1 | Jun 2 7:12am
In reply to @dorothy1914 "To @starbryte I suffer from severe anxiety and have not been able to get any relief..." + (show)
@dorothy1914

To @starbryte
I suffer from severe anxiety and have not been able to get any relief even though I have tried at least 8 or 9 different medications in the past 8 months. I also suffer from protracted withdrawal from improperly stopping using Effexor. The Effexor was great for the 30 years I was on it but I foolishly decided I didn’t need it anymore. At least 4 Providers have also tried to reintroduce me to Effexor without success. Improperly stopping the Effexor ruined my life and my husband’s life. It is taking such a huge toll on us. There is no light at the end of the tunnel.

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Ask about Cymbalta. I am taking 30 mg and it helps. I also took Effexor for years. Cymbalta and Gabapentin help me with my anxiety and depression as well as pain. As long as you are alive, stay in the present, there is hope. I promise.

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jhenson | @jhenson | Jun 2 4:04pm
In reply to @starbryte "Thank you for sharing all of this with me. I definitely relate to a lot of..." + (show)
@starbryte

Thank you for sharing all of this with me. I definitely relate to a lot of what you said and what your son is going through as well.

I started taking magnesium taurate, vegan omega-3 69, and “bio beat“ organic beetroot extract pills – only because trying to drink more than 2 cups of beet juice a day was pure torture, not to mention very high sugar content-

I did find a high-quality CBD that I trust.
I’m sooo sensitive to thc so medical marijuana did the exact opposite to me. It made me incredibly paranoid and I ended up in the ER one time. Not a good time.
So it took me a while to find a CBD that I could trust.

It helps when I’m having certain types of body pains or anxieties

Right now I’m looking for a good therapist that is familiar with anxiety disorders and PTSD

I’m so happy that your son has you to advocate for him and support him

When I was growing up, it was basically unheard of for a child to have any type of psychiatric illness. Especially anxiety and panic attack attacks.

But I remember them quite clearly inaccurately going all the way back to kindergarten. I just couldn’t express properly, but my father did tell me that he remembers me coming home from school telling him that “my heart was beating so fast, but I wasn’t running” & it started making sense to him as I got older. That all of the things my teacher’s complained about were all directly related to anxiety and full-blown panic attack attacks.

He apologized profusely, but I didn’t blame him. Things were much different in the 80s versus now. Thank goodness.

Thank you again for your kindness and for sharing all of this with me. It really helps me feel better and like I’m not truly alone. I know I’m not the only one going through this, but sometimes I just feel alone.

Sending love and good vibes to you and your family

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Have you found the supplements you take to be very helpful in managing the anxiety? What CBD product do you trust? I’m afraid to try any of them? Does anything help with sleep. I’ve become a chronic insomniac and nothing seems to work except Ativan which I’m not supposed to take very often. Thank you

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sisyphus | @sisyphus | Jun 3 1:25am

About ten years ago I had a serious anxiety/panic attack which blocked my airways making me jump out of bed before dawn ... that's what Emergency doc told me i had. Scared that it might happen again, I was offered to stay overnight. Of course I slept well ... knowing I am in the safest place.
When later I saw my GP, she offered CBT to get through my anxiety to which I said, 'I know what it is and could do it myself.' 'It's not the same,' she told me, I said. 'Let me try it myself first.' That was the last (and only) time I had this issue.

What helped me was coming to the realization that my years of hard work spent on writing a book is no one interested in publishing. It still hurts me because I had laid out a non-medical way to stay healthy and fit Without any help from healthcare system. I rarely see my GP (last time 8 yrs ago, have never used any medications, no tests, no surgeries, no supplement or special diets. I am physically active in a variety of ways even when I don't leave my apartment. I sleep well. I eat simple, balanced mostly plant-based foods. I've more to do that I know is worth doing, also called Purposeful living. I still am actively looking for a few deep friendships, the one thing I cannot do alone!

I wish you find a life that will give you JOY and purpose. Wud be good to know your progress

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alju | @alju | Jun 3 8:41am
In reply to @diverdown1 "I am 54 and I am in trauma therapy and have been for 5+ years. CBT..." + (show)
@diverdown1

I am 54 and I am in trauma therapy and have been for 5+ years. CBT definitely helps, it is still not automatic that I change my thinking, but I am becoming more and more aware of my thoughts and working to recognize and change them. Never too old. You go!!! Stay in the moment. I practice trying to bring myself back to the present when I freak out over the future which I know nothing about.

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You are correct; it certainly is NOT easy. Too many years for me of seening the bad and sad aspects of life first and seldom noticing the positive. Not sure why that has always been my perspective.

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david707 | @david707 | Jun 5 12:30pm
In reply to @diverdown1 "I am 54 and I am in trauma therapy and have been for 5+ years. CBT..." + (show)
@diverdown1

I am 54 and I am in trauma therapy and have been for 5+ years. CBT definitely helps, it is still not automatic that I change my thinking, but I am becoming more and more aware of my thoughts and working to recognize and change them. Never too old. You go!!! Stay in the moment. I practice trying to bring myself back to the present when I freak out over the future which I know nothing about.

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Good for you! A friend gave a book to me....The Power Of Now! and from it I keep telling myself..."Now is the only thing that is real" and over time I find I no longer give my mind permission to spend any time going over the past or fearing a future I have just made up.

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diverdown1 | @diverdown1 | Jun 5 6:46pm

Yes!! Eckhart Tolle is wonderful and I listen to his talks on YouTube. I also read The Power of Now as well as A New Earth. I still have to really try and not flip out over my imagination and what I "think will happen," but I am certainly trying. Thank you for your post!

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karalou70 | @karalou70 | Jun 8 12:54pm
In reply to @januaryjane "Ok I know how that feels. The thing i would recommend is finding a therapist or..." + (show)
@januaryjane

Ok I know how that feels. The thing i would recommend is finding a therapist or even a group therapy/support setting. It can help unwind some of your anxiety and give you tools to help yourself.

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Yes that is true. I am in therapy now and I love my therapist. I will talk to her about my obsessions over my back pain.

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1 reply
karalou70 | @karalou70 | Jun 8 12:56pm
In reply to @david707 "have lower back pain and Gabapentin takes care of it. Also CBD and CBG oil from..." + (show)
@david707

have lower back pain and Gabapentin takes care of it. Also CBD and CBG oil from hemp has mellowed out both my partner and me. No more anxiety.

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I do take Gabapentin for sleep and anxiety but not always. Good to know it can help with back pain. Thanks for your response.

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januaryjane | @januaryjane | Jun 11 12:06am
In reply to @karalou70 "Yes that is true. I am in therapy now and I love my therapist. I will..." + (show)
@karalou70

Yes that is true. I am in therapy now and I love my therapist. I will talk to her about my obsessions over my back pain.

Jump to this post

That's awesome you have someone you trust and connect with! That's most important.
I happened upon a therapist who is my age, 39, and has back problems and chronic pain like me. It definitely lifts my self esteem and feel more understood.

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standinginfaith | @standinginfaith | Jun 12 10:07am

So grateful for this forum!! I am 71 and hving anxiety and panic attacks!! I started having digestive issues when I took and antibiotic Dec 19 2019 and it blew a hemorrhage in my stomach..horribly painful.. and since I was alone, and my neighbors refused to answer their phone to say they would make sure my dogs outside had water..I didn't go to the hospital..this was a Friday night.. finally got to a dr on Monday.. got that resolved in May but then other stuff started happening.. gall bladder accidentally discovered it had sludge in it and had to come out.. they gave me lidocaine even tho I had a warning label on my gown not to..too 2 men and a big woman to hold me down as they put the mask on my face to knock me out.. my sister-in -law took me home.. I and left me home alone..I was sick and out of it and then finally about 4 AM googled to see about the pain med.. it would have killed me with the xanax I have to take since my husband passed with cancer in the living room in 2011..(he was all I had ..we were alone..he made me promise not to let anyone see him..21 days and 3 fractured ribs later..whew!!) So I complained to the hospital and they changed their policy not to give people things they are allergic to.. and that surgeon yelled at me on my return visit about telling "harping on it he said"..tried a Nutritionist.. the Vitamin D drops she gave me caused an anaphylactic reaction..(she didn't believe me, I called the company).. I got down to 98 lbs.. they medical problems I have had.. with food meds ...horrible.. got colitis and my friend found me on the floor with a b/p of 60 over 40 ..I had colitis and had sweated out all my fluids.. took them 10 min in the ambulance to get and IV started.. so.. I have been given meds I'm allergic to.. just abused by the medical practice .. some are soo good and others.. not.. I gained too much wight back.. I got ecoli and had to do a course of antibiotics in March.. then a UTI and 3 trips to ER.. gave me the wrong med aand then had to go back and another wrong med.. this last trip happened this week and I had a severe panic attack as they were finally giving me fluids.. I live in a very rural area.. when the ambulance driver said ..oh don't go to that hospital you don't want to go there, we just left there and they are so bad..I asked where do I go ( I had been to that ER several times and finally a nurse said" you have to get out of here , they're going to kill you..I have an ulcer and I don't go here") ..been to ER about 15 times in the past 5 years with 3 hospital stays.. this is just the tip of the iceburg.. I called an ambulance once and got one with a "barf bag" I asked for Zofran for mausea..she wasn't qualified to give anything but a barf bag.. so I asked "can I administer myself one".. necxt time I called for an ambulance I asked for one like on TV with all the "stuff"...now I am struggling because I've been really sick this spring..God keeps healing me of different things..soo grateful..and I try to be steady in "the boat" but people don't understand what it's like to be afraid of what you eat or medication you take.. they don't have anaphylactic reactions..or intolerances...I've watched 2 husbands die..one with a heart attack while we were talking and the other with cancer.. both times we were alone.. I'm a pretty tough old bird.. but have always been active and drove over 1000 miles a week and worked as a sales rep for over 35 years.. now I think I'm losing my mind..and it's sure hard .. getting a new Gastro and was so excited about it.. and he was rude said I was "shopping for doctors" and he's "just trying to figure out what the hell is going on" and after (yet another) upper EDG he said IDK who'll be your doctor..I don't have time to take care of every body..whew!! Sorry this is soo long.. it is the short version.. thank you all for this forum.. it's such a blessing!! I'll be praying for you all and trying not to just run off into the woods screaming.. (I live out in the country) Never envisioned my life would end up this way...never..

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