My goodness, my heart hurts for you. Mine was in my right scapula and the result of a nightmare incident when I was 11 years old. Short version is growing up in Chicago in 1976 when life was really challenging for many reasons. While walking down a main street with a friend there was gun fire across the street but out of sight at 11:30pm. Two men ran towards us, and not knowing what was happening, we ran following them in between two buildings into an alley. Unseen, I hit the braided steal parking lot divider, went around multiple times and slammed backwards on the cement. I opened my eyes to a snub-nose .38 in between my eyes and a cops saying, “son, I almost killed you”. I was so shaken by the gun issue, that I said nothing to anyone. I threw up for three straight days and tended the wire that had cut through my jeans, underwear, and deep into my groin. I just stuffed loads of toilet paper in the hole and pressed on it until it stopped bleeding a week later. How in the world my body hid the masses of muscle and nerves now wrapped in scar tissue from my scapula into my right side and further down my back for almost 40 years and then start hurting is beyond me. I share that with you to say, life is so strange and as crazy as what I’m about to share will sound, I hope you get it. I now know more about my soul and its journey in this incarnation than I would ever have imagined. That pain cost me so much that I truly thought of all the great ways to end this life. It hurt to breath, the meds caused four severe blockages in my hearts LAD. I was expected to die without another stent procedure to bring the total to 6 in 4 years. Then after retiring due to the misery, I started reading and studying again. I wasn’t focused on making money and having more stuff. I set a goal of understanding me in the final months of life. Just as I buried the blood, pain, and sickness from that event, I buried inside me every other pain I ever encountered. By opening that black vault of pain, I have come to know why I chose to come here and live this life, complete with all of the pain. I now accept that this was my souls plan when I selected my mother and the circumstances she would create for me to have substantial soul growth. Despite your beliefs, your life and all of the pain and joy were constructed by you. Only through my deep and extremely disappointing inner work, have I achieved this level of understanding, acceptance and learning. I blew up deeply held family secrets and exposed my own shortcomings as a husband, sibling and father. I have set about clearing all of the karmic entanglements and ensuring that everything I now do, has mutual value to all involved. Use this time to grow your soul and vibration. After all what could be more important to you at this moment when so much has been taken to make way for you to do this work. So much of the things you loved are not in reach, so grab hold of the closet and most important thing you possess…you.