I completely understand your fear. Now that I am 8 mos kidney-tumor free, I'll be going back to Mayo again to have a tumor removed from the bifurcation of my carotid arteries in my neck. Truthfully speaking, while I was scared to death about being cut open across my abdomen (scar from between my boobs to 2+" below my belly button), now looking at having my throat cut, w at least a 4" incision, what i try to focus on is being rid of the cancer. If they don't try, it'll never go away, it'll never get smaller, and I will not get younger. Sending you hugs and wishing you courage.