Thank you, I know you are right about PTSD, ITU is known for leaving people traumatised. I have been aware that I need help since I got home a month after surgery. I think my GP thinks I should be able to cope because I worked in mental health. It's just not the same when the problems and fears are your own. It's 'physician heal thyself' and very different from helping other people through their dark times. I can't get the images out of my mind of a person who sadly died in the next bay in ITU. Or at night hearing a doctor tell my nurse she should call my husband in as I was so sick. These things don't go away easily and my anxiety hoe's sky high at the smallest thing now. I'm so glad you got the right help when you needed it and get monitored for how the events are still, affecting you. Without that help life is paralysed as it incongruous to integrate these experiences into the personal identity that you had before. Papworth Hospital is a major heart and lung hospital in the UK, they must have support avaiable from psychologists for patients going through frightening events. I'm going to ask for help, they knew my work and should have expected I would need support. Thank you for supporting me to feel it's OK to ask for help.