How was your mental state after surgery?

You’ve been through a lot. I had my diagnosis and surgery in fall of 2023. I still cry. Often. Sometimes out of gratitude but mostly out of fear of the unknown and worry. It’s normal. I wish I had a magic spell to fix it but the reality is, you focus on today and look for the happy things. And when you can’t stop crying…then cry. You need the release. Hugs to you

Perfect answer! I was diagnosed with stage 4 marginal zone b cell non Hodgkin's Lymphoma myself and have been symptom free for over two years and recently this past month have been having similar symptoms as I had prior to diagnosis so I'm in fear my cancer has relapsed or I have developed a secondary cancer. I try to stay positive every day and remind myself that each day is a gift . Stay Blessed 🙏❤️

Hi Elsyre,
It's clear from all your posts that you have a lot of empathy. Maybe this is empathy for yourself!
During my first week after surgery, I felt so good, almost ecstatic, that I figured it was the drugs They wore off and not only did I feel more pain the next week, but the euphoria wore off and I'm back to my sometimes gloomy, sometimes cheerful, familiar self. Now it's the third week and I'm in a groove of really slowing down, taking naps, eating well. I have a sharp pain in my side that I'm still medicating with ibuprofen and acetaminophen. I see the surgery NP on Wednesday for follow up. I have many questions for her. Muffy

Good Morning Elyser! It’s good to “hear” from you again! My opinion; You’re fine! I say that because you have been through an emotional as well as physical roller coaster since your diagnosis to now. It, honestly, will probably continue for a while. Yes, the meds contribute to that. Those are some serious meds you are taking. But, also, your body and mind need the release crying gives. It’s one of the ways we release tension, sadness, fear, etc. You’ve had to be so brave going through this. You’ve had to be strong and a fighter! Now you’re probably thinking a lot of what you need to do next to get better and back to the life you want to live. but scared still. Normal!! Happy, sad, scared all at the same time. Appreciative of being alive but already worrying about the future. It’s ALL normal. Crying is your release. I wouldn’t worry about it. Just accept it when it happens and know that you will feel better, in some way, afterward. Maybe even let yourself smile or laugh about it afterward. Your mind and body need to relax for a bit now. As far as the meds, maybe ask your Doctor if there is something else you can take for any pain now. I wanted off those kinds of meds as soon as I got home because I knew they are addictive and I just didn’t want them. They gave me Lyrica, Gabapentin, Hydro Morphone, Robaxin, 800mg Ibuprofen and 500mg Tylenol. After 2 weeks, because you have to slowly get off the heavy ones, I was only taking the Ibuprofen and Tylenol and once in a while the Robaxin.(muscle relaxer). I feel I am a more emotional person now than I used to be, but thats fine, because I also appreciate EVERYTHING, a lot more than I used to. God is Good! We are still here! Hugs and Love to you!❤️🙏

Absobulutely, emotions are at a all time high. My surgery was May 9th but have had 2 other major surgeries since September and crying, anger, impatience and more come to mind.. Major surgery and recovery plays games with our emotions plus not getting rest adds to it maybe.. Hang in there

The diagnosis and surgery is a shock for sure. My family doctor prescribed me Xanex after surgery because I was doing too much crying. LC is just such a scary and crappy diagnosis. It's been 25 years since my LC surgery. Since then i've had numerous scans and 2 or 3 recurrences. And even now I still have days of crying and extreme sadness.

I don't use Xanex (I guess it's called clonazepam now) every day. I go months without using it, but during scan times and treatment times I need it especially in the evenings. Otherwise I'd be sitting on my couch crying my eyes out trying to distract myself by watching TV. LOL. And it hurts. It physically hurts my head to do all that crying. The Xanex type meds help your mind to put the worry and fear on the back burner. You still know you have cancer but you can block the worry to give your body some relief from the stress.

I just have to say I've never had a problem becoming addicted to pills or alcohol. Sugar and chocolate and shopping for clothes are the drugs of my choice. So Xanex was a safe and effective way to take away my crying.

Hi @yellowstonelady
With 25 years since surgery, yours is an inspirational story! Have you had to have surgery for the recurrences or did you do something else?
I am a big fan of xanax which I started taking to help me sleep about 12 years ago, after my mom died. I stopped for awhile and tried other sleep medications but nothing did it for me like xanax. After a few days off in the hospital, I am back on it for sleeping. As an aside, I also took xanax when I had to do public speaking and found it remarkable for that!
When I start crying, I don't think it's from anxiety but maybe I will try it next time I get an intense round of tears.
Thanks

Thanks @mamalinda61
My surgery was May 9th too. Were your other surgeries for cancer?
And yes, though crying is my most popular emotion, anger and impatience seep out now and again and I hate that, especially when it is directed toward my partner/caregiver who has been wonderful. (And oh... typing that has inspired a short round of sobs...) I think resting is something I need to work on. I used to only need about six hours of sleep and I tend to wake up after that amount of time and not be able to fall back to sleep. More naps!

Thanks @cmcguire10
Those meds I mentioned were in the hospital. Now home, I take advil and tylenol, alternating them every four hours. They sent me home with oxy but I haven't had that level of pain.
I think you are right that there is something "normal" about crying here and I am trying to accept it but pre-lung-cancer-surgery-me was not an emotional person. I was the one who stayed calm in emergencies and who didn't cry at sappy movies. In therapy I found it hard to talk about my "feelings" which I would definitely place in quotation marks. I suppose that pre-surgery me would not have posted my "feelings" on discussion platform like this, either, but having support from strangers here has been great!

The new version of Xanex is clonazepam which is slower and longer acting. So just half a pill is enough usually for me to fight off the tears. But scan time I have to take 2 because I have had so many scans the anxiety is ptsd levels. LOL.
They took out 2/3 of my right lung in 2000 at age 46 and then I had 7 weeks of concurrent chemo and radiation right after that. Everything was going along okay until 2021 they found a new spot in lower left lobe. We watched it grow to 2 cm, then used SBRT radiation which totally resolved it (it took about a year to slowly go away). Then I had a new spot SBRT'd on my right side in 2024. Now we are seeing another spot in lower left lobe again and trying to decide next step. Guess what? I have PET tomorrow so I will be taking the clonazepam tonight and tomorrow for sure.
You make me laugh about using it for public speaking. < 3 < 3 < 3