It's silly but somehow finding this out today made me feel better for a bit. He drank himself into this condition, so that has been difficult for me to accept. I thought he was just being a jerk because he was such a jerk while he was drinking. He used to be so different, but that man is gone. I looked up a support group here in Santa Fe that I am going to investigate. I'm still planning a trip to FL to see my sister, but not sure what to do about him being home alone while I'm gone. Probably a good question for the group. Pamela, where are you? An English professor, wow. I always loved English and have thought about writing a bit. Maybe when I get old! Best wishes and feel free to give me a shout.

Hi Pamela,
The “planning escapes” seems to be a common denominator among women caring for husbands. I went to a group meeting and the question of being bitter came up. My response was, yes I’m bitter but I feel like a spoiled brat because we can’t travel anymore. The other 4 women ALL said the same. We love our husbands, and we know and accept that this is our life, but the dream of being able to just get away to do something as simple as going snorkeling or hiking or visiting grandchildren makes me both sad and frustrated. Re the wine: I find that I have more wine when he is with me in the kitchen preparing dinner and the rest of the evening together bc that’s when he gets the most repetitive and forgetful. I’m really struggling with the wine every night. If I could just remember alcohol actually makes me MORE anxious and get on the wagon, I’m sure that would help. Heavy sigh.