← Return to Help! My husband refuses to shower. It’s been 2 weeks now.

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@linaxyl

OMG I can't believe others are going through this. When I told my sister that he won't shower, she was shocked. I thought he was the only one. My husband has changed so much I feel like I only know him part of the time, other times he's almost a stranger. And he doesn't have severe memory loss, I would say a medium-well memory loss. He's finally given up accusing me of having a boyfriend if I go shopping or meet a girl friend for lunch, so that's good. But I've told him I won't go out with him in public looking like he does. So every 10 days or so he'll get in the shower. I've decided to live my life and get the help and support I need. He sleeps and watches TV. That's it. We are early 70's. I get groceries delivered, found a gal to come in and do the vacuuming and floors every other week and a great handyman who is a gem and he helps me keep the house maintained. He'll wake up from a nap and call me on the phone to see where I am when I'm just in the living room. I'm going to visit my sister on the coast in late Summer and figure he'll never travel again so I'll go on my own. I'll have to have someone come check on him while I'm gone, but I'm going. Frankly I can hardly wait. Surely not what I expected in my marriage. His memory issues were caused by alcoholism so that makes it a bitter pill to swallow for me. But I'm still here and sometimes he's still here. I listen to music and play with the dog and clean house and watch a movie and talk to my sisters and make him food and take care of him. Wanna come visit and have a glass of wine? 🙂 Take care and much good energy being sent your way.

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Replies to "OMG I can't believe others are going through this. When I told my sister that he..."

Yeah, a glass of wine is definitely in order. I'm right there with you. Hubs still bathes--about once every week or so--but he's anxious when I'm not at home. It's hard because he's basically a decent person and he tries, but he's also very trying. I'm planning escapes too. Don't know how or when but it's certainly something I'm considering, especially when things get worse than they are today. Hang in there. There are lots of us who are still here and coping.

@linaxyl Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect! You have certainly found a great place for getting help. Check out the rest of the discussions—you may find lots of helpful tips!