Shock of a cancer diagnosis: It changes life of patient & family

You’re right Pancreatic Cancer is a horrible disease and I suggest that you see a psychologist immediately so you can deal with it. Also there are support groups, including the Seena Magowitz foundation patients participate and help other patients. I’ve been six years and four months so it’s not necessarily a death sentence be a patient advocate for your husband. Don’t stop there is hope

@angelicajoy21, you're so right. The shock of a cancer diagnosis obviously is really hard for the person with the diagnosis. But it also affects those around them, especially loved ones who support and care for them. I expanded the title of your discussion to reflect this as I know you are not alone.

In fact, @jenkins wrote about the feeling of helplessness as a caregiver in this related discussion that you may appreciate:
- Support for caregivers: I feel helpless not being able to fix things https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/support-for-caregivers/

Angelica, it is only natural that your emotions are all over the place, including denial. I agree with @mcharlesfrancis that you can add hope to your thoughts too. Hope may look different now, but it is not gone.

How did the biopsy go? What are next steps for treatment? How are you and your children doing today?

Seena Magowitz has a care giver call twice a month east coast and west coast check web site

Become a learner, it will empower you. The Internet has great resources. The more you learn, the more you can advocate for your husband. Get test results early. Get your husband's permission to access his records and go on your husband's medical portals like MyChart. Often, you will see test results before the doctor reviews them. When you get test results, look up what they mean. You will see words that are medical terms and you will need to search those so you understand what they are. This will allow you to ask deeper questions of doctors. I have done so much of this that I have had doctors ask me in a very positive way, "Are you a doctor, you ask great questions?"

I have done this since my departed father's lymphoma diagnosis in 1996. He beat that cancer. When we first met with the oncologist in that case, the oncologist was astounded that I knew so much about that particular cancer, Non-Hogkin large cell lymphoma, and he encouraged me to keep it up. Most doctors really appreciate patients and advocates who are learners . . . and who listen intently and respond.

Know the indications for the stage of the cancer ASAP. Like, what is the size of the mass and where is it located. Your husband may be a candidate for Whipple surgery. That surgery is a huge one, what I call the mean, nasty, extreme surgery. BUT, it is generally a life saver. If you want to know more about it, the Mayo Clinic and the Cleveland Clinic websites have good descriptions. Actually, Wikipedia has a very good description, too.

As you learn and empower yourself, and therefore your husband, you will not feel so helpless. This is a doggone war and you can turn yourself and your husband into warriors capable of defeating the enemy that is cancer. Hope is alive and God has given you the gift of free will. Let's use our free wills to defeat cancer.

Be very careful with Dr. Google for Pancreas Cancer. Most of the information is very dated.

Wow, accusing Mayo Clinic and Cleveland Clinic, Johns Hopkins, and Mass General, etc., of dated information. That's pretty bold.

I think your advice about educating oneself is extremely helpful. However, I don't think it's helpful to call the Whipple procedure the big, mean nastyone. It saved my life. I've had Insulinoma and my Hypoglycemic seizures became unmanageable and very dangerous. The Whipple has changed my life. Everyone is different and can expect a very different outcome, but it is not inherently bad. A lot depends on your surgeon and your situation. Best wishes in your journey, wishing you the best

When first diagnosed I was advised by my oncology team to avoid the internet EXCEPT for trusted sites like Mayo, Cleveland Clinic and Pancreatic Cancer Advocacy Network. It was good advice.

@vector @mcharlesfrancis As with most things medical, there have been great advances in diagnosing and treatments. That said, searches using Google will continue to pull up and present information that may, or may not, be current protocols. I learned this myself as I was searching for information. It pays to go to the articles and look at dates they were created.

In my humble opinion, the sources I want to look for are from large teaching hospitals or well-known clinics. Mayo Clinic, John Hopkins, Sloan Kettering, Cleveland Clinic, Mass General, Baylor University, UCLA, Stanford University, and similar places are the best.
Ginger

I wish you the very best. My comments regarding Dr. Google were very general. It seems that you all are cognizant of watching the dates of the information. God bless and good luck.