Wow, I can see why this would be so frustrating. I am also a F in my early 40s, and also found it hard to be taken seriously by outpatient cardiologist at first. There was a lot of “you will be fine”, in a condescending tone. And even a “that is not your diagnosis” after arrhythmia in ER. Just changed my own primary, and in process of changing my cardiologist.

Random question… does your outpatient provider do only clinicals - or also surgeries? If they use their office visits to screen for surgery paydays I think there are some bad fits when you are looking for quality of life improvements, and they are look looking for 65yo man on medicare. I think maybe a 2nd opinion or new referral to find a new outpatient provider who is more compatible would go a long way.

The ER doctors are always going to give you a “you’re not going to die (today)” vibe if not in immediate danger. It is just more frustrating when you aren’t getting the follow up and good care to feel differently from the cardiologist and other outpatient providers to help keep you out of ER in first place. Hope you find providers that are patient, good listeners, and more willing to try to think outside the box to truly figure out what is going on and how to manage your health better soon.