What alternative milks work for you?

I have not tried those other milks yet. I've seen many gastros without much help. I have an appointment in a few months with a new one. Have not done the dietician, insurance won't cover and I do all my own research anyway. I know I do not have ibd or celiac from scopes. I try to follow low format diet along with anti inflammatory and Mediterranean.
I have had allergy testing but not to food, environmental.

Have not found a gastroenterologist who was ever really helpful. But have tried many throughout the years.

Have you tried Soy milk?

I forgot to add: both products are Lactose free!

MOJO

Been lactose intolerant for
30+ years. Almond, cashew,
Or oat for beverages. Same is true for ice cream. As a whole, a very small part/concern in my diet. Move on to other beverages.
Do not let lactose control your life/ decision making.

I love oatmilk cashew milk coconut milk. All of these work well on my crazy stomach. Good luck!!

I can only do coconut milk, raw A2 milk. I used to oat and cashew, but that really ruined by digestion. And the additives and preservatives and thickeners are full of bad actors.

Also, I use the A2 milk to make yogurt, with a small 1/2 cup per gallon of regular plain good yogurt with as many probiotics I can find. I use the lazy slow cooker method to make yogurt.

There is much wisdom in this line: "do not let lactose control your life/decision making".

Many of us burdened with severe stomach issues need to make mature, deliberate, sober decisions about what we should be putting in our body vs. what we think we need based on our relationship with food and societal expectations.

That said, on the topic of this line:
"My gut gives me grief with sour cream, yogurt and cream cheese. So I can't eat yogurt for the good probiotics!! (I loved my greek)"

Does normal milk from Lactaid or other lactose-free milk give you issues? What about a hard cheese like boring old cheddar? Since you didn't mention these specifically, I wonder if your issue isn't the lactose, but perhaps additives in sour cream, yogurt, and cream cheese. (I think my local Whole Foods also sells a lactose-free sour cream if you want to run that experiment).

As someone else mentioned, thickeners found in yogurt, cream cheese, and pretty much ALL milk alternatives (guar/xanthum/carob bean GUM) are undigested by you and digested by your gut flora instead.

My instinct is that you may need to do some more experimentation to figure out exactly what the culprit is.

Frankly, if you're reacting to what you've listed, you should probably give up all dairy products. Dairy refers to cows milk. You may be okay with sheep and goat mild products, as their proteins are different. Keep in mind that humans are the only animal species that insists on drinking mild from other species. We're not meant to do that.

Also, keep in mind that many of us are allergic to the casein in cow's milk, as well. If you're having problems with the lactose free products, you may also be allergic to casein.

As far as "milk" is concerned, there are many alternatives to animal products: nut, soy, oat... (they are referred to as "beverages" and not "milk" fo legal purposes. I choose nut becerages because I'm not allergic to them and they pose no risk to my endocrine system. (soy is an endocrine disrupter.) I personally like cashew because it is most neutral in taste from the other nut "milks." I normally use the Silk brand because it's free of a lot of bad ingredients that other brands may include (carnageen, etc) and usually tastes a lot better.

If you like to drink cream with coffee, a lot of people will choose canned coconut milk. This is different than coconut beverage. It's also good for recipes!

You can also find yogurts that are non-dairy. Goat yogurt is available, as well as cashew yogurt (maybe other nuts?). Look to be sure they have probiotics in them, in hopes you'll gain gut benefits from them.

Good luck in your journey. I hope you find a product you and your body enjoy!