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Suggestions | Help with Getting Her to Sleep
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 3 hours ago | Replies (27)Comment receiving replies
The repetitions! I think this is what bothers me most--for now. My husband has three topics: frisbee, his education (over 50 yrs. ago), and the bite he sustained from our Chihuahua (8 yrs. ago). And that's it. Oh, there's more. He tells me about every single thing he does. I'm going to the bathroom. I'm going outside. I'm taking the garbage out. I'm unloading the dishwasher. I'm going upstairs. I'm brushing my teeth. Add to that the endless reports on sports, whether it's tennis, soccer, basketball, baseball, or swimming. Doesn't matter what team, the important thing is the score. None of this sounds particularly damning, not nearly as difficult as what many here describe. But the constant drip, drip, drip of pointless information and old stories has shut me right down. I feel bad because I can't and don't respond to his every utterance with something like interest. You know those feeble smiles you get when someone does or says something embarrassing and you don't want to encourage them but don't want to humiliate them either? Like smiling at a precocious child who says something that is completely off the wall. The only relief really is describing all this to a sympathetic listener, which I assume I find here. So thank you one and all for your patience with me.
Replies to "The repetitions! I think this is what bothers me most--for now. My husband has three topics:..."
@pamela78
Constant drip of pointless info, yes, this is my life now too.
Misery loves company!
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@pamela78 Well, a lot has happened in the past year. In August my husband had a bad fall that put him in the hospital and rehab for a month. From there he went to independent living in a senior facility. A month ago he was transferred to memory care and now he doesn't know who I am, he hallucinates, and he's in a wheelchair. Yes, this is disconcerting and sad and totally unfair but when I look back at my post from 2025, I'm reminded of my irritation. I'm not irritated now. I'm only interested in keeping him safe, comfortable, and as happy as someone in his condition can be. And honestly, I find things easier now. After years of slow decline, then a drastic year of trauma and adjustment, I feel that we've reached not the beginning of the end but the end of the beginning, to quote Winston Churchill. Things are under control now, I have professional help and lots of support from family and friends. My husband won't be coming home and I'm looking ahead to the rest of my life. I'm 80 and I'm not done living yet. I don't know what anyone can gain or learn from this post, but here it is for what it's worth. I guess if I had any advice to give, it would be: don't go into the dark with your spouse out of love, duty, or surrender. Keep hold of your own life and don't feel guilty for wanting to live.