Emotional aftermath following breast cancer treatment

This is so helpful, Chris. I feel the same way. I think people distance themselves from illness and death by saying a sick person "did" something wrong. But every person on earth falls ill, and will die. It is our mutual fate, and should engender friendly compassion rather than blame! (For ourselves too). I recently had coffeee with an acquaintance--we both do some writing about breast cancer. She started fretting about how she could have gotten it. I said--it's just because we have human bodies. She surprised me by bursting into tears! I was just trying to be sensible but it turns out this lifted some burden of self-blame. Maybe our job is not to discover causes but to be kind to ourselves and others.

Diagnosed in February 2021. (Stage1B) Tried Verzenio, and I could only stand it for four months before I would wake up in the middle of the night suffocating. I’m on Anastrozole. Dr. said he wants me to take it for ten. I told him I wouldn’t live that long. I have had two spinal fractures and then a rib fracture getting a breast MRI. I refuse to get any more mammograms. I’ve threatened to stop my AI several times. I get the come-to-Jesus lecture. I grieve for my life the way it was before BC. I get a Signatera test every three months to check for cancer DNA in my blood. So far three negative test results. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be done with even thinking about the possibility of BC recurrence.

Hi friends. I'm not quite a year past diagnosis. July 31st will be one year anniversary of finding out "something" was wrong. I'll never forget it. About two and a half weeks later, I was a breast cancer patient. I had a double mastectomy in Oct. '23, redo surgery for clear margins in Nov., and reconstruction in March. I didn't have to go through chemo and chose not to do radiation, so that's a whole other set of traumas I didn't experience. I feel for those who did, my mother being one of them. It was hard to watch let alone go through, I imagine. However, post my last surgery, I was pretty far down the depression rabbit hole.

Medication might be an issue for some? Tamoxifen, I've read, has major side effects. I've read many on this site think their medications are affecting their moods. Some even started taking anti-depressants to combat it. However, there is also the fact we've all experienced this crazy trauma that changed our minds, bodies, and souls forever and became members of a club we never wanted to join...and that's a lot to process.

I found exercise and writing in a journal have helped me. Accepting who I am NOW has helped. Coming to this site has helped me immensely - being able to connect with people who truly understand this experience has been HUGE. And I'm focusing on getting good sleep. The meds cause hot flashes, so I sleep terribly some nights, but I'm trying different strategies to combat that. I find when I don't sleep well, I'm more of a mess.

One thing I'm giving myself some grace on -- getting cancer wasn't my fault. I actually needed to understand that, accept that and let it go. It happened to me. It totally sucks. I have to deal with it, probably, for the rest of my life. But I don't need to let it continue to take me down emotionally.

The day I got my diagnosis, I felt like my life got immediately shorter. And it may be true. It filled me with fear and sadness, so much so I started to shut down. I can't pinpoint what snapped me out of it, but one day I decided...I'm going to go live my life. I need to keep moving forward for me. (And should anyone here need a cheerleader along your path...I'm your girl.)

"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not come. We only have today. Let us begin." -- Mother Teresa

Holding you in my heart, BC sisters.

Were they concerned with your rib fracture as far as it getting into the bones? I just had a xray that showed fractures on rib 5 and 6.

For me, I think it is something you just have to live with. I equate it to someone having a horrible experience and never being able to forget it. I have had BC twice and all that goes with it. Just the thought it can happen again is horrible. People who have never had breast cancer do not understand. Or people that have had any kind of cancer or even a bad disease probably would understand. I think you could call it breast cancer PTSD. It’s always there. The positive thing of all this is that you made it and you can do it again if needed. Just be thankful for the good days and good times to come.

Hi
Wow I finished treatment this apr. Struggling with fatigue and the same emotional turmoil. Mood swings, depression. Also had 4 deaths happen during my treatment and putting my mom in a nursing home. In therapy and getting on meds. I have never felt this kind of mental exhaustion. I was told it's a form of ptsd