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Stubborness & Resistance to Help
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 20 hours ago | Replies (23)Comment receiving replies
I have an appointment with our lawyer to go over our documents and make sure everything is as it should be. I want to remove my husband from being my POA and I understand I don't have to tell him about that. It's entirely up to me. I don't like to be duplicitous, but I'm planning to visit the lawyer without telling my husband. Is this fair? He hasn't accepted that he has Alzheimer's and thinks he's just the way he's always been. He isn't, though he can still do lots of things. I'm also going to get a financial advisor, again without telling him. I feel bad about this but I don't know what else to do. Thoughts?
Replies to "I have an appointment with our lawyer to go over our documents and make sure everything..."
You feel bad, but he would feel worse if you told him. Bless you for taking the weight. There isn't a choice about making the change.
If you have a trust, our estate attorney suggested it would be a good idea to have my husband, who does accept the fact that he has Alzheimer's, resign as a trustee. Otherwise, one has to go to court to do that. I would talk to your lawyer first before hiring a financial advisor. This is especially true for you since your husband hasn't accepted the fact he has Alzheimer's.
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Protecting your legal and financial interests is the right thing to do. I’d ensure you have a lawyer on board and your appointed POA is aware of the situation and comfortable acting in that role if your husband contests it. I’d get advice from your lawyer about how to destroy the old documents so your husband won’t try to use them.