Age old stigmas and myths about hearing loss that don't go away

When I walk into a meeting of a fairly small group (less than 20), I make a point of saying that I don't hear well and read lips, so really appreciate it when people face me while speaking. It works well with some people for at least the first half hour or so. During these Covid times, four of us are the only ones in the Backpacks pantry, and they all know I don't hear well. Sometimes one of them starts to talk from behind my back and then says, "Joyce probably can't even hear what I'm saying," and moves to a better place. I'm still getting used to the fact that now that my good ear has been invaded by the Meniere's Monster my hearing fluctuates, from hour to hour, day to day, which is really confusing for those who know me well. Sometimes, I can understand what the others are saying as we pack food boxes, everyone moving as they talk, but later I can't hear much at all. That's a tall hill to climb for those around me!

My hearing aid is blue. I've gone with the colored hearing aids for the last 35 years, once knew they existed. 🙂 And, during most of those years I had short hair. It does help when people know you're trying to help yourself. Let it show!

Our hearing loss affects everyone around us; not just us. It's frustrating to have to repeat or wonder if someone understood. Sometimes it's best to just let it go.

I teach my lip reading students to not say "repeat"! You get the same thing the same way and it doesn't help much. Ask them to restate or rephrase instead. Speaker must pause, think, probably state a more direct version (think tree rather than forest), and hopefully slow down and speak clearer also. I wear my badge that says "Hard of Hearing, please face me and speak clearly " whenever I go out. What a difference!

@arrowshooter Since he was obviously poorly informed, I'll ask did you explain your hearing loss to the doctor? What would you ideally say to him about it? Or to anyone else?

People don't realize that if they turn away from you, it's impossible to hear them. If you say, I'm sorry, I missed that, they'll repeat the first few words in a louder voice, and then revert to their soft one again.

I can't tell you how any times people have said to me "Never mind". My husband has excellent hearing. When we go to church, someone says something funny--the whole congregation laughs--except me. I ask him to tell me and he gets very irritated. He won't. If we are in a crowd of people (that was before the pandemic), someone says something I don't hear or something funny, my husband will not tell me. When we get home, I say "what was so funny today?". He says "You don't expect me to remember that, do you?" I know he just simply doesn't want to take the time to repeat what people say or tell me what was so funny. So many, many times he has hurt my feelings. He knows it and really doesn't care. By the way, I am older than he by 8 1/2 years. We had our 39th anniversary this past week. We couldn't go out so we ordered out.

Here's one: "If I don't shout at you, you can't hear me."

@millsan330

Don’t worry about what other people think of you especially if it is a brief encounter. It’s not your fault. Do talk to your boyfriend and tell him he could have briefly stated to the other person that you can’t or didn’t hear them and maybe point to his ear. He should not have grabbed your arm and yelled. Sounds like he needs you to explain more fully what it’s like having a hearing loss. He should be your advocate on those occasions…not annoyed or ashamed.

FL Mary