You seem angry that someone is being a caregiver for a loved one and seems to be excluding you. I am sorry to hear this. In my experiences as an ICU and ER nurse and a caregiver for both of my parents at the end of their lives, I have found that most people have good intentions when caring for a loved one. Of course there are exceptions. Some just want to be noticed and thanked for all they are doing. This would be very frustrating and upsetting. Can you have a discussion with this person? Open communication is so important, especially at stressful times like this. Can you explain to them how much it would mean to you to have a role in your family members care? If you feel the care they are getting is not what it should be, do not hesitate to contact their primary care provider, social worker or hospice nurse (if available) immediately. You need to be their advocate because they are probably not capable of doing this. Don’t let them rob you of the what could well be one of the last times that you will see your loved one. I hope things work out for you. I feel your hurt, anger and sadness.