Hello, @girlmidget. Reading your post this morning, I can just feel the sadness and despair for the circumstances that you and your husband find yourselves in right now. As humans we want to feel settled and in control of our situation. It’s overwhelming when we’re not.

It seems to me there’s been a mental tug of war for both of you with whether or not to have a BMT since the diagnosis. From everything that’s been shared with our conversations, there have been significant health changes for your husband since the time when the BMT was first offered.
Quite honestly, I think the next step should be to actually speak with a BMT doctor to see if the transplant is even feasible at this point. If the answer is no, and since your husband doesn’t want it anyway, then that option would be off the table. I really think that may ease a lot of the anxiety about the subject. It won’t always be weighing heavily in the back of your minds.

You’re both in a world of hurt right now and I know this feels overwhelming. @dax1million was so helpful in her reply to you. She and her husband are going through a similar journey. I think we need a group hug this minoring. Le sigh….