Emotional health after cancer: How are you doing really?

Hi
I totally relate to emotional support being needed daily.It's like you're finished treatment and people think it's over , but it's just starting and this is the hardest part and people just leave and go about their lives , and they don't really ask anymore or give you support. These groups are amazing and I'm going to share with you A group i belong .It is called breastcancer.org. They have groups for in treatment different stages of cancer and completed treatment.You can sign up for whichever one you're at and they meet online once a week and you get to see people.They have a fantastic moderator. I suggest You try and check the site. Love and hugs to you. 💗

I'm always I'm ok

I deal with having sarcoma alone it easier that way for me

I appreciate the post and comments. I was recently diagnosed with stage IV kidney cancer (had my right kidney removed but unfortunately not before it spread to my left lower lung). The standard “how are you” has gotten more difficult to answer. I usually say “ok,” but I know I am not “ok.” I am typing this at 3:00 am because sleep has become more challenging. I constantly have to fight off negative thoughts. The day after my most recent diagnosis I had an appointment with my general physician for a routine check up. I told him about my diagnosis and asked if I should see a therapist (I am 64 years old and have never seen a therapist). He asked if I had thoughts of hurting myself and I said “no.” He then asked if I was so depressed or anxious that I could not function and I said “no.” He said that given that, he didn’t think I needed to see a therapist. My gut tells me that anyone dealing with stage IV cancer would benefit from seeing a therapist. For now, I am getting comfort from my Golden Retrievers and new grandson. Completely agree that my diagnosis had given me perspective on what matters in life. Keep exercising and fight! Know that there are others who understand and respect how you feel.

@fight
You are right on about mental health being just as important as physical health.

I had same type complaint when I was in hospital after 5 shocks of my pacemaker happened over a 24 hour period. It was first time it had happened. I was scared to death and even though the medication and changes to my ICD/Pacemaker rectified the problem I was still scared to go home and face the fear. I could not sleep nor had any resemblance to a quality of life.

After a lot of complaining I saw a Psychatric PA who did PTSD test on me. Diagnosed me with PTSD and anxiety/panic disorder. I was given counseling and medications to help me and it did.

I am a avid supporter that medical doctors have got to be just as concerned with mental health as physical health. Both have significant affects on each other so need to be treated.

Please reach out to your doctors again (all of them) and asked for a referral to psychiatric consuling. You did not mentioned your age. If you are on Medicare it pays for counseling and you can also get information on providers in your area.

You mentioned trouble sleeping. I too had that and was really affecting my quality of life. My PA Psychiatric medcation specialist put me on Escitiopram, Xanac, and a sleep medication called Trazodone. The Trazodone makes (at least for me) not able to dwell on anything and keeps your mind clear and sleep comes. It made all the difference for me and sleep really changed my mental outlook, I have moved from taking every night to about 2 years ago to a as needed basis only. The escilopram (spell) I must stay on for my life time.

Caveat here, what may work for me may not work for you. Your medical and physicatric specialist have to prescribed what is best for you based on your medical history and other medications you are taking. Help is out there just have to keep banging on the door.

I actually had my Psychiatric PA get mad when I told her the inattention to my mental health complaint I was expressing to my doctors and it was ignored. I did have a anxity/panic attack when I was released form hospital.

My Psychiatric PA along with a primary care doctor did patient relationship training where I get my medical service. She says sounds like we need to do another round of patient relationship training you should not have been ignored and this should have been addressed.

If you are on Medicare you can even get them to give you a approved local physiatrist to see. I would asked your primary care to referr you and if not reach out on your own. It is your life and we need help from time to time.

I want to share that I finally made it through an entire day without thinking about prostate cancer. Friday was a gorgeous spring day and I took my dog for a hike, went on a 15 mile bike ride, cooked some chicken and played some board games with my nephews. It sounds like a normal nice day and that's the point--this was the first time in almost a year this has happened. I hope my "new normal" includes more days like Friday.

I am sorry to hear this. Your cancer center should have palliative care, and your oncologist should be able to refer you. They can provide counseling, chaplains in some cases, possibly adjunctive therapies like acupuncture. A social worker in oncology might be a good choice. I'm quite surprised by your PCP. He was checking for an extreme mental health crisis and yet therapy is very supportive even in ordinary situations, let alone Stage IV cancer. Please do try and get some therapy--speaking personally it has helped me a great deal. Since my diagnosis almost 3 years ago of a rare and aggressive cancer I've been in therapy and as a result feel much calmer and life affirming. I was even able to make up with a difficult family member. Keep in touch and tell us if you can find some support. Thinking of you.

@fight Yes, I echo what others have said. Please reach out to your cancer clinic and ask them for a referral. Most have a team of social workers there who can assist you.

That was a very sad thing to read what your primary doctor said to you. Do you think you can speak to him frankly and enlighten him that there are many times a patient needs some help that has nothing to do with tests or medications?
Ginger

I'll admit the cancer diagnosis was a surreal experience. The doctor brushed it off as a swollen lymph node, but I knew it was different. Two weeks later came the diagnosis, and as soon as I got it, I started reading up on the subject. Being 49 at the time, I believed I was going to be one of the lucky ones as the type of cancer usually hit smokers and drinkers, neither of which I do. I started emailing my experience to my family, including cousins, and the response was supportive. It didn't hurt that I included a lot of humor. How else are you supposed to cope with your mortality? My sister experienced a similar cancer, but she had already gone round one with breast cancer. She was quite shaken by the prospect of going through treatment and the possible outcomes. I've had a few scares in the past 19 years and there was nothing surreal about it. No one wants to go through it again, myself included. I hope you overcome the challenge and can make peace with your circumstance. Good luck!

This is simply the journey I am on. I believe that it is a spiritual journey. I have come to terms with my own death. Most important, my mindfulness has improved three-fold! I am glad for every moment. And that is how Apia’s feeling today,! (Not to diminish any very different feelings others have…)