@amberprep I know that divorce is hard (personal experience). What is an NPD? I hope you can become more comfortable in your situation financially. Have you thought about a home business? I don't know what kind of work you did in the past but maybe there is some way that you can use your skills and abilities to start a home business. Think about it and talk to some career people who might be able to guide you. Best wishes as you plan for the future. Also, I'm assuming that since you were married a long time that you have applied to Social Security for your share of his benefits? If not, please go visit them.