thankyou for your reply, you know either he isolates himself by ignoring friends calls, family does call, but geographically there is alot distance between us. My sister who lives in calif, is coming for a couple of weeks which will be nice. But contact with family waxes and wans, one sisterinlaw said she was not calling weekly because she felt he might be overhwelmed by the calls and the conversations are brief. I told she should continue to call weekly, its good for him to have contact, because too easily he isolates himself. I know that cognitvely its hard for him to follow conversations, but i think its still important. we have been stuck in the house due to weather yesterday we went out to lunch, since he is confined to a w/c. or his recliner, i have an aide through va services that allows some releif. I know everyone deals with this differently but i do wish his sibs would take the time to visit more frequently 2 are in mass , 1 in fla, the later is retired. but they are going off on cruises in the next 2 weeks. i guess i feel a little jealous this was always the time we went camping in fla . My daughter 36 single also deals with it differently i wish she would call more often, but i know she is in a new relationship and does come about once a month when she has a string of days off, she is a nurse working 12 hr shift. Days like today i just feel so isolated and alone, his appetite is poor, i cook things he normally likes and he suddenly doesn't like them . The aid showers him for me, he has refused those going 2 weeks without one, but finally is acquiescing. Today was the worst, he could transfer very well onto the toilet from the w/c, i am always vigilant for whats the next sign of decline because of where it is at it s har d to say. He is in hospice just started t his month, i feel so sad for him and wish that family realized that even the smallest tel call just lets him know he's still thought off. Sorry, its been a bad day today we were up most of the night, he has to pee at night it seems 4 or 5 times, plus when its time to go to bed, he can't seem to summon the energy to get inthe w/c to go. i just got a hospital bed he's not happy using it, but i feel like it will be easier to transfer in and out with assist. I don't want him to have a catheter, and he is defiant re; depends so we just go along. hoping to try out using the urinal in this bed as the matteress is firmer than the pillowtop where he sinks and cannot grasp. it. we will see. The kicker is that the onocologist told my daughter who is an rn in late jan that it was a matter of weeks, he was not willing to be so candid with us, and guess what it now is 2 months so somuch for that, i just feel we waiting for and him to die. i want his quality of life to be the best it can. so prefer for him to remain at home.