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I really feel what you feel. My oldest son was raised by his grandparents, and raised them to dislike me. My wife forced us to live with them, because she felt insecure without them. My other three children were not, they allowed them to stay with us at times, the reason being fairly credible, partly because both my wife and I worked.
My youngest son committed suicide and my youngest daughter was od’d by phenyanyl out of jealousy, they both used.
My oldest son has begged me to come to live with us , going through a divorce, and he looked appreciative, but now he has stopped talking to me, and shows signs of an outdated oedipus complex, hating me if she shows more feelings to me then him.
I am 80 years old, my wife 71, and she is trying to manipulate us within the context of this situation.
At one time I told my son I do love him, but really don’t like him.
I have partially taken care of his four grandchildren, and we get along, and they are on to collage next year, hoping they will be ok in spite of all this upheaval.
I try to stop this silent treatment, by being the first to come from a ‘higher ground’, and he does react minimally at first, but after a very short time he clams up again.
Replies to "I really feel what you feel. My oldest son was raised by his grandparents, and raised..."
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Hi,
I'm so sorry to hear of your sad situation! That is very sad that your children died. But they are up in Heaven now with God and Jesus and you will be reunited with them eventually. It's not easy when you lose loved ones. That is also sad about how your oldest son treats you.
I haven't seen my son in 27 years. I'm not really sure why. I gave him back to God and told God to straighten him out since he made him. I do look my son up on Twitter or X just to see if he's dead or alive. This is a different world than it used to be. Children often don't act right.
It's nice that you still have contact with your grandchildren.
What I found works best for me is to pray and pray a lot. I just talk to God like he's my best friend and he is! My husband died of lung cancer in July. He was 83. I'm 78. I know he's up in Heaven and we'll be together eventually. However, I ask God daily to help me get through life and the loneliness. God has really helped me a lot and has answered a lot of prayers.
Ignore your son's impolite actions. If he's nice, then be nice back. But otherwise just act like you don't hear him if that's possible. Doesn't your son realize that the two of you won't be here forever? Someday he will be all alone and will feel awful for not treating the two of you better.
You and your wife should just enjoy this time of life and each other. It's too short not to. Ask God for help. He's always there for us.
I'll say a prayer for you also.
PML