My wife suddenly died next to me after 40 WONDERFUL years of marriage

My wife and I are going on towards 43 years of marriage, and I honestly don't know how I'd react if she suddenly died. I do know one thing though, I wouldn't ever contemplate dating anyone ever again, at my age(66), what would be the point? But that's just me.
I'd have to deal with the loss, and learn to live alone. We have 2 kids with families of their own, and 4 grandkids who all live within an hour's drive, so I wouldn't always be alone.
Do you have any grandkids? If you feel like you're struggling, talk to your sons.

I understand your feelings and encourage you to keep talking. I married my husband when I was 45 ..my first marriage. I had a lot of severe trauma as a teenager and young adult. I lost my only child to forced adoption. I am happy for you that you have kids and grandkids...I'm sure you cherish them. However much you care for each other, that does not take away the pain of the loss of your spouse. I had 26 marvelous years with my husband..every day was like a miracle.
It's been 3 years and I still cry every day. His clothes
and tools and guitar still remain in their place. I can't let them go. You are not alone in your grief. Allow yourself to cry and talk as much as you need to. Only You will know when you are ready to move forward. I sen d you air hugs. If ever I had the opportunity to have coffee with you, I would not walk away from you.

@dennismm - I am not sure how long it has been since your wife passed away. It could be you are displaying a huge amount of grief. My wife and I were married for 52 years when she passed away at our home in the middle of the night unexpectedly only six weeks ago. She passed away due to heart failure. I did join an in-person support group, and our first meeting was today which I found helpful to be able to discuss the challenges with others going through the same as me. None of this is easy. The shock lasted with me for a month. I would absolutely suggest fining a support group or a grief counselor. Best to you and take care of yourself.

@dennismm

It must be tough after 40 years of marriage. As someone else asked, how long since she died? Just wondering if you have given yourself enough time to grief before trying to starting a new relationship. As your son suggested, meet for coffee or lunch instead of trying to impress with expensive meal.

Many communities have grief support groups, have you checked them out?

My wife and I are going on towards 43 years of marriage, and I honestly don't know how I'd react if she suddenly died. I do know one thing though, I wouldn't ever contemplate dating anyone ever again, at my age(66), what would be the point? But that's just me.
I'd have to deal with the loss, and learn to live alone. We have 2 kids with families of their own, and 4 grandkids who all live within an hour's drive, so I wouldn't always be alone.
Do you have any grandkids? If you feel like you're struggling, talk to your sons.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about if what happened to you happens to me. We are going on 52 years with many challenges in growing up ourselves and raising kids. Now, it is heaven. If she passes, I must stay with gratitude for the amazing gift I was given.
My, and your, measure of grief, is the pain you have allowed her to avoid. It certainly was not purposeful, but I wouldn't want her to suffer what I (you) are suffering now. We are each other's life, and I wouldn't want her going day to day in this kind of anxiety and grief if I passed first.
Dating? It's useless and hurtful in most circumstances. No one will ever "get" me like she does. No one will ever tolerate my cornyness or philosophizing like she does. My kids and grands will be devastated and supportive, but I will try and comfort them. I won't give them an extra burden of "What are we gonna do about Dad?"
Once someone is hete, they are never gone. Only their body, which dutifully contained their spirit and soul has worn out. You can still be with her spirit and soul every day. In parts of every day, keep doing what you did with her on tribute.
Many on these conversations talk about years and years of suffering and financial destruction with illness. It is said that a person who goes suddenly is spared illness because they lived a good and spiritual life.
This is a difficult one: Look inside yourself for who you are and genuinely always were. Who was it that she loved? You. Lucky you. Looking outside will wear you out and at the end, no one can really save you, although authentic religious devotion may come close, or even succeed.
I feel your loss. I hope I can take my own advice when the future is now.

Posting on this site was a very smart thing to do. There are a lot of caring people here. Keep posting because support is here. I think the suggestions of doing a hobby is a good one. If it involves other people, that is even better. Take some time outside every day. Listen to the singing birds. Nature can be very healing.

@dennismm

It must be tough after 40 years of marriage. As someone else asked, how long since she died? Just wondering if you have given yourself enough time to grief before trying to starting a new relationship. As your son suggested, meet for coffee or lunch instead of trying to impress with expensive meal.

Many communities have grief support groups, have you checked them out?