@silversun
I hope your therapist is able to reschedule with you soon. Until then do you have a trusted friend or family member you can talk to? I know we try to shield the people we love from our despair and heartache but we need to lift one another up and someday it will be their turn for you to lift them up.
it probably feels as though spending the day crying doesn't show strength but it's important that we allow some release of those emotions that are penned up inside of us. One can't deal with one frustration after another without an emotional response. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
Therapists get sick and their cars break down and they have their own mental health crisis occasionally too because they are human just like everybody else. So find yourself a Plan B person with whom you can talk. You may not be as open or self disclosing but that's OK. You will find some relief having someone close to you who listens and is supportive.
Children are intuitive and there's no hiding when we feel like the world is closing in on us. It's OK to say to kids that we need a sick and tired day or however you want to phrase it but a day where things aren't going well and you feel sad. It's scary for them when things get weird and they don't know what to do. You're not expected to be super parent and cheerful all the time. We all just do the best we can.
I don't know your therapist situation but many therapists who work in a practice with multiple clinicians have somebody who's on call for them and if you need that I would pursue that as an option.
I hope tomorrow is a better day. Big hugs. Will you let me know how you are then?