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← Return to long term xanax use
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It's insane I've been through the exact same thing as you. I'm 50 I was on 2 mg of Klonopin a day for 8 years and then 4 mg for another 10 years. I've been on them since my early twenties. I did amazing on them I became outgoing I started a business and have bought and sold by properties that I've fixed up and resoled this side income. If it sounds like I'm bragging, just stay with me cuz you'll see I'm not.
So from 20 to 40 years old life was amazing I was upper middle class and married had a boat and a family. But then..
I moved back to New Hampshire where I was from and being from a small town there was no doctors that specialize in psychiatric anything. The doctor I got hooked up with in my local clinic took me off the benzodiazepine the day I got there with no taper no nothing. Having never abused drugs I had no idea that I should go to detox and just went through months and months and months of absolute hell and agony. I shattered four molars grinding my teeth so bad. I was admitted to the ER six times for seizures. But even though the neurologist who came into the ER for my seizures said this is insane he needs to put you back on your medicine the hospital sided with my doctor. So of course the logical thing is to try to find a new doctor but all the doctors are in the same health center and you cannot switch doctor for medication issue. I talked to attorneys I talked to everybody and there's just nothing I could do other than drive hours away to go find some doctor and pay him out of pocket. Not being a drug guy that's the last thing I wanted to do. In the end this pig-headed doctor cost me my house in New Hampshire all my savings my marriage my kids my car's my boat my motorcycle. I have nothing from the day he took me off I never worked again. I'm going to agoraphobe who doesn't leave my apartment and I'm currently in Free housing from the state which is beyond humiliating.
I did so well on my benzodiazepines and so terrible without them I just don't understand where it's not so obvious to everybody that these doctors are really making a giant mistake. It's harder to get benzodiazepine than it is to get an opiate nowadays. And there's nothing worse I don't care if it's pain there's nothing worse than just absolutely freaking out in a panic attack you think you're dying and there's just nothing that is that scary if you've ever really had a bad one. I literally jumped out of the car once going 50 miles an hour down the road. I had a panic attack and I thought I was dying and my logic was like jump out of the car I was a little cuckoo from the benzo withdrawal maybe. But it's been 4 years since I've been awesome right now I'm trying my hardest to get back on them. The doctors are screwed they have no idea what they're doing they're going to look back at this a couple decades from now and see how cool it was putting all these pain patients in the pain and agony all these anxiety patients saddled with terrible anxiety when they have meds that take care of these things. The worst part is my doctor prescribes me a ridiculous amount of medication all off label and I'm sure it's much more harmful for my body than just taking a Klonopin would have been. Daily I'm supposed to take, clonidine(4mg), gabapentin 1600mg, antihistamine? And vylar. All of this garbage is prescribed for anxiety. Do they really think that's better for my body or better for anybody to take them taking two Valium a day? It's ridiculous. Worse than that it's barbaric because I don't know about you guys but I literally suffer through my days it's like I'm being tortured all day. And it's not right we need to try to do something as a society to wake people up to the fact that there's people suffering because they're so panicked over their kids touching a rice sized grain of fentanyl. Cuz that's really what this is about. The DEA literally tells the doctors they don't want them to have their patients on benzodiazepine for more than 6 months tops and it should really only be used for a month. On top of that they're encouraged not to get any new patients they're all so encouraged to never increase the dosage. I mean what the hell there's varying degrees of anxiety and sure a lot of people probably didn't need the benzos we took them probably just made them feel better but people like me who go to the ER two or three times a month for fucking panic attacks I feel like I'm dying or I'm in cardiac arrest. A person shouldn't live like that I really wonder day-to-day if I'm going to be alive tomorrow and just a few years ago I was on top of the world and I'm not a lazy person but my anxiety just has me crippled. And I'm just sitting in my apartment like paralyzed with anxiety it's terrible. I'll stop babbling on but I just want people to wake up and like see how insane this is. Nobody should have benzodiazepine for more than a month well my panic disorder is a lifelong chronic condition. Is so when the timer stops what the fuck am I doing then. Pardon my language I'll end this year before I get any more upset.
Replies to "It's insane I've been through the exact same thing as you. I'm 50 I was on..."
I am so sorry. Back in the late 80's I went through a psychosis from a quack psychologist who thought he could cure me of homosexuality. I was put on Xanax and then Klonopin so that I could sleep and function. I eventually had to quit my career as a jeweler and move in with my mother, and felt so ashamed. Becoming suicidal I was given Paxil and eventually Effexor, which helped greatly and was still able to have Xanax but told to use only as needed. This was in the 90's. I was only able to deliver pizzas for a living for over 20 years as I was too scared of having panic attacks if I tried a different career. At first I was ashamed, but eventually learned to respect myself as a survivor with a broken brain. I have made my life work and retired, living in a RV with my partner. I have my occasional anxiety attacks and recover from them with small amounts of Xanax that I got from a friend who doesn't need them. Present day psychiatrists are afraid to prescribe benzos. I think you need a support group. I would not have survived if I didn't have a social network that gave me hope. You should at least be seeing a counselor. I find daily walking or going to a gym helps. I have even learned Yoga to help release tension. Give Effexor a try as I have found it is the best SSRI to diminish anxiety. I hope you have relatives or friends that support you or maybe you need to move to a bigger city with more help available. You are a fighter to have survived so far. I feel for you.
@fastlyedder
I am going through something similar as you. I weaned myself off of Effexor in January of 2024 which I had taken for about 25 years, and was feeling pretty good until Sept. of 2024 when extreme anxiety returned. I have sought help from at least 8 or so nurse practitioners and my primary care doctor but none of the medication combinations worked. I have been labeled a pill shopper which I am not. I was taking Ativan prescribed by my primary care doctor but went through in patient detox to stop. Unfortunately, I restarted the Ativan, as without an antidepressant that was working for me, I was unable to do anything except lay down on the couch in the living room. I have had countless visits to the ER for panic attacks and sky high blood pressure, where they’d throw me out and call me a drug addict. I was, without my consent, sent to two lockdown facilities. I no longer have access to Ativan and the last nurse practitioner has me on 10 mg of Prozac. For the first time last night I took a prescribed hydroxyzine for sleep. It did nothing. I had already become anorexic from trying to restart the Effexor in Sept. 2024. I have since tried to restart it at least 3 times with no luck. Thank God, I have the most patient and loving husband in the world. You couldn’t imagine the hell I put him through on a daily basis. He is also dealing with his progressive Parkinson’s disease. He has no life. He no longer sleeps as he’s afraid I will harm myself during the night. I will pray for you and for all of us going through this unbelievable torture.
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Oh my God, what a nightmare you’re living through and no one is willing to help you, I am so very sorry for your suffering, it’s heartbreaking and barbaric. I too am a benzo user and I have never found any other med that works better for me, believe me I have tried but to no avail. I’ve been reading horror stories for years now about doctors abusing their patients, some of them had patients for 40 plus years giving them their meds and then all the bad news came out about them and they did the same thing that you went through, what really got to me was that some of these patients were in their eighties, it’s just insane. I also blame this on the opioid crisis, these people are also being pushed too hard and it causes desperation so what happens next is that they turn to illegal drugs and it causes overdose because the drugs are not properly made, often too strong like Fentanyl..the opioids and benzodiazepine don’t mix well and causes overdose and death, the doctors were giving opioid users benzodiazepine to calm them down from the side effects of withdrawal and it killed them. They decided to throw the benzodiazepine in with the opioid and get rid of both thinking that this was the solution, sadly it did the opposite. What really makes me angry is that alcohol and tobacco have proven to be very dangerous substances and thousands of people die from them every year but I don’t see the government doing anything about this because they are making a lot of money from it, they’re all looking to make money at any cost and there’s not much profit for them in opioids and benzodiazepines.