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Caregiver for Spouse with Alzheimers - How can I Survive?
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Mar 31 11:50am | Replies (16)Comment receiving replies
I haven’t had your experience, but from reading your post I do have a gut reaction. I also remember that my father had dementia, and neither he nor my mom wanted to move out of their home. She was his primary caregiver, but got a lady to come in and help part time. Also there was a visiting nurse checking on him. His dr ordered certain services that I think were covered by insurance.
I don’t know your financial circumstances or whether you drive, etc but if at all possible, get out of that facility as it sounds like an additional stressor rather than a help to you. Look for a smaller house or apartment (not a condominium; I lived in one and it sounds a lot like your description). Get someone to come in and help with your husband. I’m not sure, but I think Medicare may cover certain services. Also, is there an Alzheimer’s organization that could refer you to resources?
I know you love your husband and want the best for him, but it’s essential that you care for yourself as well.
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Thank you for responding.
Trust me, I never wanted to give up my home, but felt I had no choice, since my son offered to help. Believe you me, he and my DIL have been tremendous help to me. However, you are correct in your observation that this facility is a stressor as well. I wish more than anything I had my own home, but since I’m not driving anymore AND due to a horrible fall back in January, I’m now in a wheelchair. Hopefully, this won’t be forever, but at my age, a broken femur/hip won’t heal as quickly as that of a young person.
Without going into a lot of tiring detail, i have a history of several spine surgeries (due to undiagnosed and untreated) scoliosis. None of these surgeries happened until I was already 58 years old! It was truly a blessing I was in great shape, or my recuperation would’ve been a lot more difficult.
Anyway, I tell you all this to paint you a picture of my life. I don’t mean to make you feel sorry for me - just to let you know all the obstacles I’m facing.
At this facility, they do have a nurse on staff who can help me when I need it. Right now, my husband will swear on a large stack of Bibles, that he has a “small memory problem” and refuses to accept what doctors tell hm. Did I mention how stubborn he is?? Honestly, it’s tragic, but also maddening!
Again, thanks for listening and for your advice. I guess I really needed to vent…