I had the same feelings when my mum died. She lived in the UK and when I found out she had cancer I went home for a month and ended up staying 4 months until she passed, one thing I will never regret was I remember her saying your not leaving are you? There are so many things I thought of later that I could have done so I went to a counselor, I only had one session, she asked me a question what more could you have done? When I looked back I realized I did everything I could just being there was a comfort to my mother who never had to worry about anything. I think if you look back also you will find the same thing?