I am a Lung transplant recipient, my wife is my primary care giver, she has had to tell me no several times so I don’t over do it. An observation that may or may not be a part of your experience is that if your husband was the “bread winner”, or made most of the decisions in your marriage, now these rolls have changed. He may resent giving up his “power” to you. My experience has been that I was not in a position to both be the bread winner or make decisions post transplant due to both the surgery and the anti rejection medications. Recovering, and healing, from major surgery prevents returning to work. The anti rejection medications affected my decision making especially in the beginning when the doses were higher. As the medications reduced I have seen that looking back it was better that my wife took on the roll of “Head of Household” This is hard for some men to both accept, and let go of.
My suggestion would be to speak to your nurse co-ordinator, and doctor, to set up a session with the Psyciatrist to counsel you both together and individually. This journey to recovery, and back to a new normal is not an easy one. It also is not one he can navigate alone, is there a back-up caregiver if you are not in the picture, and are they ready and willing to take on the role? These are the things the transplant psychiatrist will be able to cover.
I hope this helps you, be sure to reach out to your Mayo Support Group.