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@johnhans

@evamaree I have gone through what you have gone through most of my life. Starting as a child and going into my 60s I have had severe depression. About a year and a half ago my doctor finally found the cure. I went back on the same antidpressant I had found worked the longest for me and then the doctor kept increasing the dosage. I had to go to a very high dosage. It is now working. I am finally able to enjoy life. If your doctor cannot find an answer, try another one that will keep with you until you do.

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Started catching up with posts after 2 weeks in hospital due to effexor withdrawal. That was horrible, both feeling that bad and being in a very grim suicide watch ward with no windows, no shower or bath and sporadic toilet paper. Down to one capsule and using seroquel and escitalopram to help take the edge off. So far this is working and when I drop the last 37.5 the seroquel will let me sleep the bad day or two off.
Im in Canada and finding a dr who will work with you is a challenge. In 2 weeks in hosp I have seen 4 different psychiatrists and one resident psychiatrist. They have all had a different approach and different understandings of what’s going on, what needs to happen. I will be put on a list for next psychiatrist with an opening once I’m discharged and it wont be any I have seen in hosp.
Reading about people who have fought depression since they were a child is making me see that has been my world also.
Arent you afraid being on a high dosage will eventually turn and stop working? Probably worth the risk though to have time feeling better. Depression requires bravery at a level most will never understand.