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The Caregivers' Guilt Dumpster - Open for business
Caregivers | Last Active: 2 days ago | Replies (195)Comment receiving replies
All too often a snarl or snarky comment from the recipient of my care is met with an equally snarly (if not more) retort. It can end in tears. I go away hating myself for not having enough empathy --- she is the one really suffering, not me. How would I like to be in her position? I am such a jackass. They say no one does guilt like a Catholic. Maybe that exacerbates it for me.
I have dumped my guilt for the day and will make it a great one!
Replies to "All too often a snarl or snarky comment from the recipient of my care is met..."
I bet if you checked with all of the caregivers on this site they would say they messed up and said something or just being human can totally get what you said. Hugs to you. My spouse says he is sorry when he is aware of what happened. I have learned that he is not the same person that I married. Not his fault. I have stuck my foot in my mouth more than I would like. Hugs to you from a guilty spouse. Not perfect! 💙
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@rockydijohn
I am sorry. I can relate, as the caregiver to my father for over four years now (and to some degree for my mom and dad for three years before that). Reading here, it seems this can happen to all of us. I think it is the constant stress that is our daily reality, on so many levels. As a grateful believer, I too, hope to respond with patience and positivity in the face of frustration, pessimism, bad humor, or self pity. But unfortunately, as a human I think we can once in a while all fail our best intentions! I think it’s a must to extend ourselves the same grace we want to extend to others, pray for forgiveness and strength and peace, and get back up and keep trying. It is very very hard. Of course, I expect we are just talking about snark-for-snark. Anything crossing the line to verbal abuse (care recipient or care giver), needs intervention like counseling or some form of help….I pray you have a really good day and are blessed with some appreciation and peace!