Cancer won

Hi Denise,
It sounds like you are doing pretty good at managing things. That's great! You might want to call Social Security instead of waiting for them to contact you. A lot more people are in this country now so they may not have the time to contact you. Be prepared to be on hold for at least an hour! But it's worth it to get things going. It will take a couple months before you actually get a check. Also it may not be the full amount that your husband was getting. Mine wasn't. It was almost the full amount but a little less than what my husband had been getting. They always tell you that you'll get the same amount or they imply it. I thought that too. But you don't.

Your cable company doesn't sound very caring. $35 isn't much! Can you go to another cable company? If you are a new customer, they often give you a really good price.

You might also want to call Medicare about health insurance. I did and got Humana Gold Plus Medicare insurance. I pay no premium and most of my prescriptions are free or very low cost.

When I mentioned the Pawn shop they buy things besides letting people pawn things. What about selling your wedding rings? I'm going to do that. Partly because I can use the money but also I live 15 miles north of Seattle where crime is really high. Some of the bad people drift up here every so often. That is not the environment you want to wear a diamond ring in! The pawn shop buys other things too like frying pans, kitchen appliances, tools etc. It all depends on your local pawn shop. It might be a good idea to give them a call.

It took me about three months to get rid of my husband's clothes and other things. I understand your being reluctant to start that. Just give yourself some time.

You are right. We'll get through this. I'll say a prayer for you.
PML

Hi. Sorry it took me so long to respond back. This has been a busy week. As far as I know the funeral home contaced social security right away for me. They told me that SSA would contact me. I do have an appt with them on April 16 to discuss the death benefit. Which is 255, I think. I wasn't sure if I would get the whole amount of my husband's social security or not. But as you said you just got a little less. That will help me a lot. My medical insurance and prescription coverage is very good as I worked 30 years for the state of pennsylvania. But I don't have vision or dental. It is through Aetna, but we don't get all the perks other insurance companies give their clients. My mom gets 125.00 every 3 months towards groceries and she can get that much in otc products. But I don't get any of that. Since I live an hour away from Pittsburgh, I am not close to any pawn shops. I am sure they have some there, but I try and stay as far away as I can from the city. I live in a rural area and the nearest grocery store is 15 minutes away. WalMart is 35 minutes away. But I would not trade where I live for a home in a big city. I would be afraid to live where you live. Pittsburgh has a lot of crime also, but not as much as seattle. I am not saying that our little towns are crime free. It happens around where I live but not often. It makes me sad that you have to pawn your wedding rings but you have to do what you have to do. If it is safer for you, then I don't blame you. My diamond is very small and would not net me very much anyhow. So far, I am still wearing it and my husband's ring on my other hand. Do you have family around where you live? How about children? I have two boys-one lives about 10 minutes away and the other 30 minutes away. They help me with things that I can't do. Yes, I believe it will take more time before I can get to his clothes. I walk into his room and walk right back out. I don't know whether or not I told you, but I am also dealing with Bells Palsy. Not sure if you are familiar with it but the 7th facial or cranial nerve (I am not sure which) becomes inflamed and causes one side of your face to become paralyzed. The right side of my mouth droops and my left eye won't close completely. When I smile, it looks like I am smirking. I have to use a straw to drink liquids or I dribble all over myself. Food wise, it has to be soft and easy to chew. Many different things can bring this on, but one of them is stress. Hello! I believe that is what caused mine by trying to take care of my dying husband for months. Also cold weather can cause it. Mine started January 21 this year so I had both cold air and stress. It will be two months on \March 18th and I am so tired of it. I have to sleep with an eye patch on to protect the eye that does not fully close. I have taken prednisone, B-12 injections, try and try and get lots of rest. Now I am trying an antiviral med to see if it will help. I have had this before when I was in my 30's and it healed within a month. But I will be 70 next week so since I am older I think it is taking longer. Usually 80% of the people who get bells palsy recover. It has been nice corresponding with you. Write back when you get a chance. Prayers for you. P.S. What is your first name?

Denise, my heart goes out to you during this incredibly difficult time. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. It’s evident that Joe was surrounded by love and care in his final moments, not just from the wonderful nurses at Good Samaritan House but from you, his devoted wife, and your family.

The time you spent together, even during the challenges, reflects the love you both shared. Though you didn’t get to say that final goodbye in person, I hope you find comfort in knowing that Joe felt your love and presence always. His passing peacefully and with dignity is a testament to the care and compassion he received and to the strength of your bond.

Grief has no timeline, and it’s okay to take all the time you need. Lean on the memories, the support of your loved ones, and your faith as you navigate this journey. Please be gentle with yourself, and remember you’re not alone in this—so many people care about you and want to see you find peace in time.

You’re in my thoughts and prayers, Denise. May you find moments of solace in the coming days, and may Joe’s memory be a blessing always. 🌹

Thank you so much for your kind message. Yes, it has been a difficult time and learning to live alone is hard. I cant remember the last time I lived alone. Maybe I never did. Always had the kids or Joe around. I do have two dogs and they keep me company. But everytime I walk into my living room, I expect to see him sitting in his recliner. Now I sit in the recliner but I am going to have to get a new one. It just does not feel right for me to sit in it. It is old anyways. Finally got my thank you cards out today. Tomorrow it will be 3 weeks since he passed. It seems as if I have no energy left to do anything. HOpefully this will pass eventually. I know it takes time, so I need to be patient. But what makes me happy are posts like yours. It is so nice to know that total strangers take the time to respond with such kind words and prayers. Thank you so much.

You’re so welcome. Your love and devotion to Joe are truly inspiring, and it’s clear how deeply he was cherished. Adjusting to this new chapter is no small feat, but you’re showing incredible strength, even in the smallest steps like sending thank-you cards. Your dogs bring comfort, and though sitting in Joe’s recliner feels different, perhaps a new chair can mark a gentle, fresh beginning while honoring the beautiful memories you hold.

The connection and warmth you shared with Joe will always be part of you. I’m so glad my words bring even a little comfort—you’re surrounded by care, even from people you’ve never met. Take all the time you need, and know you’re doing better than you think. Sending you love and strength.

Hi Denise,
That's too bad that you have Bell's Palsy! I had never heard of that and it's caused by stress. How awful for you to have to deal with that along with your husband's death too. I'll say a prayer for you.
That's good that you have an appointment with Social Security to discuss the death benefit. You are right. It is $255. Then you can find out about getting your husband's social security too. It's nice that you have good health insurance.

I wouldn't go to the Pawn shop either if I had to go to a big city. The one I go to is 3 miles from my home. I live in Edmonds Washington which is 15 miles north of Seattle and actually Edmonds is quite safe. The surrounding communities aren't that safe but I don't go into them that much. The Edmonds police arrest the bad guys. The Seattle police are told not to if they can avoid it. If they do arrest someone, the judges let them out the next day! I haven't been to Seattle in about 10 years. I do miss seeing the Space Needle. I remember when it was first built. It is so pretty! It had a revolving restaurant so you could see the mountains and that water while you ate. However, they got rid of the restaurant and turned it into a revolving cocktail lounge. So, now you can revolve while you consume alcohol! I don't think that makes good sense at all!
I don't mind selling our wedding rings. We only wore them when we went somewhere anyway. My husband was always working with electric saws and tools so he didn't wear his then in case of accidents. I couldn't bring myself to clean the toilet with a diamond ring on.

That's great that your two boys help you with things! They must be very nice people! All of my family are dead. (I'm 78.) I have one son but haven't seen him in 28 years. But I have very nice caring neighbors who brought me flowers when they heard that my husband died and many of them have fixed things for me in my house and offered to and won't take any money! I live in a mobile home park and even the park manager has helped me immensely such as fixing a leak in the roof. Plus he told me that if anything else breaks don't call a plumber or anyone like that. Just call me. I thought that was so considerate!
I hope you start to feel better! Maybe the new medicine will work!
It has been corresponding with you also! I'll send you a private message with my first name.
PML