I can relate. I recently moved across the country and can't find a doctor who will prescribe. My doctor at the VA said that he sees no problem with my taking 0.5mg or 0.25mg Xanax for sleep, but is not authorized to prescribe because the VA considers it a dangerous drug, along the lines of Oxycontin, which is absurd. I am 75 years old, have been on benzodiazepines (off and on, but mostly on) for more than 40 years. I have Parkinson's Disease and it's not uncommon for people with this illness to have insomnia. Taking a small dosage at night, as needed should not be cause for alarm by a doctor who could easily write a prescription. As you said, the younger doctors absolutely refuse to prescribe it. I can well-relate to your situation. Before my PD diagnosis I was extremely active: a life-long surfer and tennis player, as well as a Chinese martial arts devotee. I also did volunteer work in my community, but am now unable to drive and there's virtually no public transportation where I live. I volunteered at nursing homes many years ago and tried to make the lives of the "residents" / prisoners worthwhile. I also hoped I'd never end up in one of those horrible places when my life was reaching its end. Now, I feel like an inmate, isolated, afraid, and hopeless. I sincerely hope you get the help you deserve. You're fighting for your life.