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Son estranged due to controlling spouse
My son & I were always very close. I have two children, he’s the older one. The one that made me a mother & opened up my world to loving unconditionally and so deeply that at times I was completely awe struck. We remained close until he met a particular woman, married her & became completely enmeshed with her family. I’m leaving a lot out here but bottom line, he’s completely controlled by her and her mother. He lives with her parents, it’s very dysfunctional. If you told me this is the person he’d choose, I would have said you’re crazy, it would never happen. It did happen & now they have a daughter, she’s 3.
I am not allowed over their house, my son has cut me out of his life and he’s also estranged from his sister. His life is his wife’s family & he’s turned into a person that gaslight’s, blames my daughter & I for everything under the sun and plays the victim all while jumping through hoops of fire for his wife and her family. I’ve tried ever which way to approach this. I sought therapy for healthy guidance and nothing changes. I miss the person I used to know as my son. Does anyone have any experience/thoughts about how to remain in a healthy frame of mind as I navigate through life without my son or granddaughter (and they just live 10 minutes down the road from me)
Thank you 🙏
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Btw, here is my email in the event you are able to put together a support group.
Hello Ikas,
I understand the pain is unbearable. I purchased the materials and am getting my thoughts together on how to implement a group. I am a special education teacher still working. This is a busy time of the year. I am retiring at the end of the year and plan to get the group started in June.
In the meantime, we can chat here. Have you checked out Dr. Joshua Coleman's website? He offers weekly lessons on topics for a small fee. I have listened to most of his webinars. He answers questions at the end of his talks. He has helped me learn more about why this happens to some of us. I also have read "Done with Crying" by Sheri McGregor. There are many people offering help with estrangement, but most charge a fee. Dr. Coleman's is the most affordable. I envision a support group like Alanon that is primarily free. I will keep you posted about the group I hope to start. My son didn't talk to me for over a year, but then out of the blue he called me about a year ago.