Wow! You have been doing this for a long time. You must be exhausted. It does not help when they yell etc. Thankfully, I only had to deal with all of that since September of last year. Sadly, my husband passed on Sunday Feb. 23. I guess I never quite grasped the horrible pain he was in as he tried to downplay it. When he was first diagnosed his cancer was already in the last stages and had started to spread. The doctor told him with treatment, he may last 2 years but without, he may have 6 months. Joe took two treatments and decided he could not do it anymore. Hospice was called in and thank God they were. They began coming in January after he decided not to go for any more treatments. They came twice a week and last wednesday they said that they wanted him to go the good samaritan house. He agreed and I drove him there that day. They had 10 beds there and he was the only patient and so he got the undivided attention of the nurses. They were so kind and they all had great faith in God. It was a beautiful house. I was happy because I could not give him the care he needed at home. I saw him again on last Friday and was planning to go on Sunday when I got the call that he had passed. It all happened very quickly. But it was the best thing that could have happened for him and me. They can give lots of pain meds there and anything else he might need or want. So he died comfortably and in peace. But for you, I don't know how I could have dealt with what you are going through for all those years. I would probably be in the nut ward. God bless you and give you the strength you need. They do have caretaker zoom meetings on here. I believe the link is under the caretaker blog. You might find some comfort in that. If not, drink heavily. (just kidding) 🙂