Any advice for me in Ireland who doesn’t feel heard or understood?

Hi Stefan. It really is amazing how much trauma we can experience in a lifetime, and I see that you have survived a lot of trauma. I am so sorry. I am also a PTSD survivor and what I learned is that I had to value myself. Period. That was it. I kept waiting for my past to value me and for my parents to value me and that wasn't going to happen. When I started believing that I was valuable and did not need anyone else to agree or affirm it. That's all. You are here and you are worthy. You are enough. And you deserve to be heard and to ask for help. Great job reaching out!! Look at how many "strangers" replied to you. 🙂

How do you deal with it?

I’m a senior woman today and living my life the best way I can, I always tried too hard to be accepted by everyone and I took way too much ignorance from others…I have finally learned how to live my life on my own terms. It’s an ongoing process because old habits are hard to break but perseverance helps. When I was diagnosed with cancer in 2020 along with the pandemic I thought I’d lose my mind however I did underestimated my sense of survival…I slowly started moving away from people who simply sucked the energy out of me, I used to accept this especially with family but I now had a lot more to deal with and I couldn’t do both…truthfully it’s not an easy process especially when you love some of these people but I had to learn how to love myself, this was lacking in my life. I’m very cautious about who gets close to me and it’s hard at times because I’m quite social but survival is important and we we have to keep going so I try to forgive myself and also I pray a lot and this also helps me to find peace in my life.

Please hang in there. Call a crisis line if needed. You are worth it

Toxic people I no longer have time for. I relate to what you are saying and experienced this myself. I know it has codependency. Now it seems the world the media etc is here to suck the life out people.

I cannot change other people only me. I had to learn about safe and unsafe people and one skill was to recognize cognitive distortions. I have had to radically accept that society is in a very dark place. We have lost empathy for others. I am married I have 2 dogs who are my legal ESAs. I am quite sensitive to negativity so I am proactive about what I watch read talk to etc. There is a moral compass decision process for me involved in this. I like to lead a simple quiet life. I apologize about the concept of radical acceptance. I may not agree with many things but I only have the agency to change me.