My Anger is overwhelming

Podcast have been a huge help at night to help fall asleep when my mind wanders to unhelpful thoughts. I enjoy Smartless and a few other podcasts.

I appreciate what northoftheborder is saying. There are many ways these days to examine for yourself what your strong reactions are all about. A “know thyself” as the philosopher says. I think my cancer is giving me the challenge to examine what my life is all about. That position gives me a little distance to look at my lifeline so far and open my mind to possibilities.
It’s important for me not to let emotions pull me around all over the place. That’s too exhausting, no fun, and gets me nowhere but in a downward spiral I don’t need right now.

One of things I have seen as a Chaplain, is anger showing when someone needs to grieve something. You're having to deal with a lot of loss, such as what you thought your life would be , who you are or how you see yourself, your expectations for the future. Maybe you need to explore that and allow yourself to grieve any losses. But then look forward to the things in your life you value , that you get to experience. Shift to focus daily on those. That builds your resilience for moving forward.
Prayers

The timelines for "Cancer Me" and "Cancer-free Me" diverged in 2021, and as time has passed, I know less and less about what "Cancer-free Me"'s life might be like -- if he somehow exists in a parallel universe, he's probably become a very different person than I am today. Perhaps his life is better than mine; perhaps it's worse; or perhaps he died in late 2021 in a car accident because he was out driving while I was stuck in hospital. 🤷

But I find myself grieving less for what might have been as it drifts further from the life I'm actually living (including all the good parts). I think that must be how acceptance happens.

Try to make sure that your psychologist is treating the right symptom for you anger. Sometimes the emotion extremes, especially anger, is what happen to us as our brains age. Meaning that it is as much a physical ailment as it is an emotional one.
.

I've read some of the other replies and your original entry.
Don't know about the anger before diagnosis, but can relate to the after diagnosis....it is part of the grieving process! Until I got my diagnosis ( 3 weeks after my bowel obstruction surgery) I was confused and angry. Then I was really angry when I got the diagnosis. Angry with the first ER unit, and angry at my PCP. Angry with everyone and everybody. I knew I needed to grieve....I needed to breakdown... And grieve my lost future. Grieve my projects I can't finish. Grieve for my family and lost graduations, concerts and recitals, and weddings and graduations and family events. Etc etc. I did not see the end of the tunnel. But once I broke down...I started to recover. I got myself a therapist and in the confines of her office I continue to grieve and adjust. It's a process. Learning to talk to others ( family) about my loss and grief. I hope knowing others have gone thru this is helpful. Hugs from joanne

You go girl! Be angry if that’s how you feel… just make sure it’s properly directed. That’s great you quit drinking… another reason to be angry… let it be your therapy. No smoking, no drinking, and at least with tnbc… no thc. I’m hoping I can find a psychedelic mushroom that has anti tumor properties to microdose. Meanwhile, almost any oncologist would prescribe either of us barbiturates….. and not tell you that statistics say we’d die sooner and have a hard time with withdrawal once we join the addiction wagon.

When I get angry… and I do… it’s very justified and directed. I’m able to be sane, rather than lashing out, and articulate with reasoning. Breathing is a great way for me to get hold of feelings that feel out of control.
Be smart… be mad at the right things… find a reason to laugh…and accept that cancer is a crappy deal. Everyone would agree.

My husband has a saying that don't be upset with something you can't change. He had an Iliostomy. Obviously he can't be angry about that It's a done deal and saved his life. Does he get angry with having to empty and change the pouch. No... it's a new way of life. No frowns, no anger. It is what it is. He also has cancer in his liver. Again, it is what it is. Nothing you can get angry about because it's a fact and the cards you are dealt. If you don't have anger you don't have to get rid of anger. Make the most of your life and put a smile on your face and go forward to the next new day with a positive attitude.

Well, your anger sounds more like frustration than anger to me.
It happens to everybody. I am in Canada. In February, many of us become so frustrated with the weather that we have invented a name for our frustration: February Blues.
Whatever the name, it may depend on the idea that we have a right to something, like better weather or a healthier body.
Let us realize that we don’t have any of those hypothetical rights.
Because, in reality, we are born in a place on the planet, and there is no perfect place on it. Nowhere!.
Our genetics shape our bodies, along with the random conditions of our mother’s body, our nourishment, health history, the purity of the water we drink, the rhythm of our lives, the financial circumstances of the family, and the healthcare provided to us by the government—you name it!
Can we be angry with someone for all that?
My mother used to say to me, "When you feel frustrated, look behind you. Countless people will take your place in life immediately!"

Hi. I went through anger after the shock of being diagnosed with cancer. I just couldn’t believe it. I have no family history of cancer and I wind up having cancer. I was scared and I was dealing with another illness that I was diagnosed the year before. My autoimmune disease completely changed my life. I wasn’t able to work. I had lost my balance, my hearing and my 20/20 vision. I was limited to staying in bed because I get easily fatigued and so much more. I did everything I could to get better in which I did improve but then I had cancer.
It’s so overwhelming. I went back to therapy but I went to the Cancer Wellness Center and I signed up with the support groups and other programs they have. It helped me deal with my anger constructively. I learned other coping skills along the way so now I’m better in handling my emotions.
I hope that you find a way to work with your anger. I’m glad that you’re giving therapy a chance. Take care.